Hateful, Party of One

marriage equality

2009-05-29T15:56:00.001-07:00

I've been increasingly troubled since the California Supreme Court ruled to uphold Proposition 8 and continue the practice of subjegating gays and lesbians to second class status. Its more than just the setback to the gay rights movement, its the complete lack of logic to their thinking.

The court said that the voters made a clear indication on what they define marriage as and the court did not have the right to declare that invalid. However, in 2000 California voters passed Proposition 22 by a larger majority than they did Proposition 8. The court originally acted in their decision to allow marriage equality invalidated a clear vote of the populace and now claim that they cannot do it again.

The court allowed the marriages already completed to remain valid. It makes no sense to say that 18,000 marriages are valid, but no other ones are allowed, solely based on the date that it occured. Either marriage equality is a valid argument or not. Having some marriages and some aren't makes no legal sense and will only leave confusion in legal precedence.

The determination that marriage is not a right of the individual may be the scariest aspect of the whole thing. I'm not one of the people who think the federal government should pull out of the whole marriage business, but that marriage serves a purpose for the government to support. But the ability of the court to determine who can get married is way too much federal intervention (and I'm a socialist saying this!!!!). Easily, this gives precedent that interracial, interreligious, or international marriages can be declared null and void based on this court ruling.

networking at its finest

2009-05-19T18:47:00.000-07:00

So my gumption with Gavin Newsome did do some good. I got a letter from him at work saying it was good to see me. True, I'm sure a staff member did it and then he signed it in a million thank you notes. But it arrived to me at work, which means my business card didn't end up in the trash. It ended up in Sacramento. I have since planned my eventual rise in power to Secretary of Education in a President Newsome administration. :)

Governor Gavin Newsome

2009-05-09T13:31:00.000-07:00

I went to a fundraiser Thursday night for Gavin Newsome, the mayor of San Francisco who is running for Governor of California. So I got to shake his hand twice and I also gave him my business card and told him that I would love to come work education issues for him when he's elected. So we had a brief conversation on education issues. I think my gumption impressed him, so if he wins look for me to be in the CA higher ed system ;)

I would rather...

2009-04-28T18:58:00.000-07:00

I've cut back immensely on my drinking lately. I still go out for a drink once in a while but i'm not overdoing it like i used to. I've been asked by a number of people why I've done that and my response is "I would rather be in shape and muscular than drunk."

Weight loss continues. About one month until gay days.

Biggest Loser: Luxury Day

2009-04-20T18:53:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I had my proposal defense. I had decided long ago that i would reward myself with a tatoo. Now I'm running into the problem of scheduling it. For me to get it, I know that I would have to sacrifice a couple days at the gym and I just can't bring myself to do it.

On the biggest loser, every so often the prize of a challenge is a luxury day. A day of pampering, a good meal, relaxation. But anyone who has watched the show for at least a full season knows this is the worst prize. It takes the winners away from the gym and then they eat horribly, leaving the trainer to yell at them.

With the summer almost here, I feel as if I am in crunch time and can't take time off for a tatoo until I hit my goal weight. Maybe thats what I should reward myself with. But for now I can't get a tatoo and miss the gym for 3-5 days.

reflections on death

2009-04-13T16:35:00.000-07:00

When my grandfather passed away in 2002, I cried. I didnt cry because death was a bad thing. I cried for fear that he thought my recent move out of Florida was to get away from him. It sounds rather trite, not to cry because I was upset about his passing. My prized possession to this day are two unvarnished bookcases that he built when I was younger for my sister and I. It feels wrong to varnish them. In truth, I thought he was going to die ten years earlier when he fell incredibly ill. That was the beginning of his health decline. I wasn't surprised when he passed away, but i worried that he thought I was trying to get away from him, which just wasn't the case.

When my great aunt passed away, I was proud of her and relieved. Her health had seriously declined over the past couple of years and she was living in a nursing home and the last time I saw her, she didn't seem to recognize me, but told my grandmother two days later that I had come to visit. This happened right around the time of Terri Schiavo and it resonated about the selection of a death with dignity. My great aunt decided she had had enough and said she wasn't going to eat anymore and fourteen days later she passed away, essentially starving herself. I took a little bit of pride that she lasted longer than Terry Schiavo, which means that my great aunt was stronger.

But in both cases, I feel I was prepared for their deaths. They were, after all, old. And old people die. That's the mentality. It sounds kind of harsh to write it, but its kind of true. I have had to deal with younger death before... and then there was Shaun, who didn't die, but will never be the same.

Since December, death has now affected me twice from a much younger perspective and has caused me to consider how truly random our mortality can be. First, a friend of mine was murdered shortly before Christmas. A very violent episode that broke my heart and left me an emotional mess for a couple of weeks. It wasn't that we were exceptionally close, but it was someone that I saw regularly. It struck me as horribly odd that I would no longer see him out and about. It also struck me the possibility that it could have been me. Even though I normally wouldn't have gone to that part of town nor been up that late, so many of my friends have been mugged that it could have easily been me in that situation. But the violent nature of it made me feel that a life was robbed. More than a non-violent death

And now, a friend from high school, died this past weekend... drowned in Africa. I think how random it was. Why him, why there, why now? It seemed that he had gotten his life together and that's when his life ended. I'm saddened by his death and it does make me think that I could have been dead by any number of means. He was younger than I was... and he really is the first person younger than me that I've known that has died.I feel more at peace over this death than the last one. Maybe its because it seemed more natural than being murdered. Maybe its because I haven't really seen him since we were in high school together and that type of distance can lower the emotional impact.

But as tragedy hits, these are the thoughts I've had.

Work Update

2009-04-07T17:30:00.000-07:00

So this Friday will be my 5 month anniversary on the new job. Its definitely going better than it was at the beginning. There are some smaller projects keeping me busy, but nothing that busy. I've integrated nicely to the people in my office and they seem to enjoy me. However, as I finish with my doctorate, I'm not sure this is what I want to do with the rest of my life. So I still find myself looking at jobs and completely unsure of what to do when I finish my degree.

Thoughts?

School Update

2009-04-06T16:38:00.001-07:00

So I have had a lot going on lately. So I will take a couple days to update. Todays update school. I've made a ton of progress lately. The biggest is about two weeks ago, I had my proposal defense. For those unfamiliar with the dissertation process, the proposal defense is the harder of the two defenses a student goes through. The proposal is the first three chapters of the dissertation, which sets up the purpose, need, and way an individual will conduct their study. I expected that the committee would give me some revisions that they needed to be done before signing off on the form for me to move forward, but they didn't. I passed with flying colors :) They did have revisions but nothing needed before the final defense. So I am able to move on with my process.

The next step is going through IRB approval, which is the point where the school examines the study and ensures that proper protections are included to protect the safety and anonymity of the participants in the study. It took me about a week and a half to fill out the paperwork. It got sent to the IRB office and then I find out Friday afternoon that I do not need IRB approval since I am not having any interaction with individuals. That would've been nice to know two weeks ago. Now I'm waiting for the dean to give me permission to move ahead.

Unfortunately I have a really tight deadline. For me to get my data this month, I need to send my proposal request to UCLA no later than Wednesday. So I need to hear back from her by that point or I have to wait until May, which would not make me happy at all :(. Keep your fingers crossed for that.

In other news, I had applied for another grant (making two in total) to cover dissertation expenses. I was turned down, which upset me a bit. I feel like I'd be great in the faculty route, but every thing i try which would prepare me for that route seems to not go my way. Grants not going my way. I still haven't heard about publications I submitted etc etc. In the grand scheme of things, the data shouldn't be that expensive, but its difficult enough to break into teaching as it is.

So all in all frustrations are there, but I am making steady progress. Dr. Filter here I come.

Already March

2009-03-01T06:38:00.000-08:00

Where does the time go? Its already March. Things are still going well. On Friday I turned in my dissertation proposal, which is a great step forward. I have my proposal defense scheduled for March 19th. It will be good to move forward with my dissertation and get to the next step.
Also, I may very well have my bills paid off next month. I think I can wing it to get all the credit cards paid off, which will be exciting. How will I spend my earnings without the bills to be owed.

This month should be exciting as I have a trip to Arizona.

I also got an email from speed dater saying he wanted to just be friends. Its fine. He's a nice enough guy and handled it well so I'm more than willing to be his friends. I do somewhat wonder if that will happen. Its not that I don't want to be his friend, but I always feel that in those situations people have a harder time to actually have a friendship rather than just be friendly in passing. So we shall see.

another great weekend

2009-02-08T19:10:00.000-08:00

In continuing with how great the year has been, this weekend was another good weekend for me despite an allergy flare up today. Friday, I did another yoga class that left me sore the next day. I'm continuously amazed at how yoga can be challenging and a good workout.

Saturday I went out to visit friends who I haven't seen forever and apparently I was the boy to pursue. There were three separate guys who were heavily into me at the different bars I was at that night. Its nice to be pursued. :)

I had a date with the speed dater today. It was a good date. We seemed to get along well and had a great conversation. He was funny and liked to laugh. He even said he'd like to hang out again. So hopefully it will happen again. :)

I also discovered a fantastic new yogurt flavor: Lemon Burst!

weekend plans

2009-02-06T14:54:00.001-08:00

Someone has a date this weekend. Woo Hoo!

29 years young

2009-02-03T20:05:00.000-08:00

So I am now 29 years old. And its turning out so far to be a really great year.

I did dinner and drinks with some friends on Monday evening, which was my actual birthday. I had a great time and it was just nice to be around people that I cared about. Friday was the official party. A friend of mine decided to throw me an early "surprise" party. He seemed to forget that I'm the only gay in town that is on time. I even showed up like 3 or 4 minutes early. I knocked on his window so he would come and get me then noticed a sign on his door (there is a glass door in between his door and the outside so I couldn't knock on his door). The sign said "Scott's Suaree" Then I saw the main door was propped open, so I walked in and knocked on the main door and walked in and they were all surprised that I had walked in when I did. But we had a great time. We went to Nellie's ( a gay sports bar) and I ended up closing the place down. Needless to say I slept pretty much the entire next day.

The following day, Saturday, I went to Jewish Speed Dating. I did enjoy myself, but the experience was an interesting reflection on our experience being influenced by how an event ends rather than the entirety of the event. Most of the guys I had a "speed date" with were quite bad at conversation. Whether they were disinterested in the whole experience, or me in particular I don't know. But the conversations should go like this. I ask a question. You answer it and follow it with a question of your own. I then do the same. The amount of awkward silence shouldn't have happened. It wasn't that serious of an event. But the last guy I had a date with I found to be very enjoyable. Instead of discussing the traditional topics (career, length of time in DC, etc) we talked about reality tv programming and the muppets. He was funny and I appreciated his ease of conversation. I told him that he was a great way to end the evening. For those of you who don't know how it works, at the end of the night you circle which of your dates you were interested in seeing again and if they do the same then your contact info is sent to the other person. If only one of you puts something neither of you are notified. So it seems as if he put me down as I got an email yesterday when I woke up giving me his contact info. I emailed him last night at midnight (when I had a second to do so). Now I'm waiting for a response ;)

Also (to continue to show my good fortune so far) I won passes to go see an early show of He's Just Not That Into You. Can't wait!!!!

In other news. School is going well. I finally have commitments from a methodologist and after much harassment, got feedback. I'm moving forward on setting a date for my proposal defense (the week of March 15th).

The gym is also going well. Despite my birthday binging, I feel some changes in myself through the gym. I've picked up a boxing class and yoga as well as increasing my cardio by 200 calories a day. I will be buff by the end of the year.

I guess that's all that's going on with me.
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Two great things in one day

2009-01-13T14:22:00.000-08:00

So two great things happened today.

One when I was putting on my belt this morning, I was able to go to the next hole without any trouble or tightness at all :) That means I'm getting thinner.

Second, I was in this training and had a snack to which the girl next to me said how can you eat that. I was like what? She replied that if she ate it she would be fat, but I could eat it and was so skinny. She's totally my new best friend.

2009- off to a good start

2009-01-09T19:32:00.001-08:00

So things are going incredibly well for me so far this year. An update on my goals.
1. This month I begin payments on my final and largest credit card.
2. Still making good progress on my dissertation. I signed up for a million appointments with my adviser over the next two weeks so that we could start going over drafts of my dissertation. I am definitely working hard to do my proposal defense at the end of February.
3. I am still going strong at the gym. It looks like I am going to start taking a class on boxing on Thursdays. Plus the MOnday class I was at last week I feel as if I have to go back or it looks like I quit. I was also looking at a yoga class.
4. I ran into Howie, who many may remember from reading this blog. He was the waiter that led me on for the longest time only to tell me that he had a boyfriend. I haven't seen him in forever. But I ran into him last Saturday. And normally I would've tried to stop and flirt forever. Instead i said hi and kept walking. It felt good.

To add to all that a few other items of note. I've already had my first date of 2009. I met some guy off of online and we got pizza in Virginia last night. Not an incredible spark, but a date is a date. I have two or three others biting right now, so we'll see if any of them develop.

Also, I got a strange call right before new years from a guy who i thought was trying to recruit me for a job. So I had a lunch with a few people from the office who i have met most of them before. WE had a long conversation and talked about my academic background, research, living in Florida, what i plan to do after school, networking, current issues, and more. However, at no point did they mention a position, so I'm not sure it was a recruitment thing after all. But i have no idea what the purpose was for, so I am hoping at some point this develops so that I know whats going on and what to say about the meeting.

New Years Resolution

2008-12-29T15:30:00.000-08:00

With New Years coming up this week, I've decided that 2009 will be the year of goal completion, which should be accomplished with these four resolutions.

1. Pay off my credit cards.
2. Be a doctor by the time I'm 30 (which means having sat for my dissertation defense)
3. Reach my goal weight
4. Hang out more with people that make me happy. Hang out less with people that don't.

its the holidays

2008-12-25T07:16:00.000-08:00

So its the winter holidays. I am actually very glad that the year is almost over. 2008 was a bit of a rough year and I am glad to see it end. 2009 I expect will be an incredible year. A lot has happened over the last two weeks.

Work is getting better. THey finally have me in the system i need at work to do my stuff, so I feel like I have a little bit of a purpose. The people I work with have started growing on me as well. I'm not sure if this will be a long term job or a short term job yet, but we shall see.

I started going to a personal trainer at the gym. I'm dedicated to dropping the remainder of the weight that I want to before I am thirty. So i signed up for personal training I have been twice now and he has kicked my arse. On Tuesday we did a lot of squats and lunges. My legs hurt like there is no tomorrow right now. Thank god the gym is not open today and i can take a day off.

In really horrible news, which most of my readers probably know from my facebook status updates. Last week, a friend of mine was murdered on his walk home from work (at 3 am) in DC. It broke my heart and I am still upset about it. I'm closer with the guys brother so I am sure that impacts me at all. It definitely took me out of commission for a while as I was in shock over it. So keep that in your prayers, if you pray that is.

I hope you all have a great Christmas, Chanukah, and Kwanzaa.

month anniversary

2008-12-10T16:32:00.000-08:00

TOday was my one month anniversary on the new job. Its going well. It has been a slow month because it is a downtime in the office, but I've gotten tons of school work done because of it. Its interesting, more than the work aspect of it all, trying to join a new work culture. The culture around this office is soooo drastically different than the other office. This office is so incredibly friendly. Not to say that there weren't nice people at my last job, but these people go so far out of their way to be friendly. Every time they walk by they say hello; every day I have a full on conversation with each of my team mates. I'm just not used to that level of interest and friendliness with my coworkers.Also, this office is so holiday centric. They do Christmas cards and parties (like I've had three so far). People decorate their cubicles. Definitely not what I'm used to. But I'm excited to see the old me come back in all this, the outgoing happy me.

A number of people have said they can see the difference in me and I'm thrilled by that.

things are going well

2008-12-02T18:17:00.001-08:00

So work is still going well. Its still a bit too slow for my liking. I haven't figured out if that is just the life of a federal employee, or if its because I'm new. I think over the next couple weeks additional things will happen to make sure I'm not bored. I haven't decided if the federal life will keep me happy for the rest of my life, so there is a strong possibility I will go into teaching once I finish my degree.

I've been able to make tons and tons of progress with my dissertation. The problem is with every step forward, I feel as if there is another mile to go. It never quite ends. But Rome wasn't built in a day, a dissertation isnt written in a sitting.

In good news, I found out that I will have the ability to do my data analysis from the comfort of my own computer. I had been told that I would have to go to Los Angeles for it. Which while i loved the possibility of a long trip to LA, it would have been way too expensive. I emailed them today and they gave me good news that they can send me the information I need. :) Woo Hoo. I may still go out there for a research workshop in August, but we will see about that.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T10:45:00.000-08:00

I just want to wish everyone a happy thanksgiving! I hope that you all have tons to be thankful for. Some of the things that I have to be thankful for:

Family- Its nice to have a family get closer year after year, when this was not the case growing up.

Friends- The family I get to choose. I have some of the greatest friends in the world and I appreciate them more than anything.

School progress- It has been a slow process, but I am finally feeling like I am making progress and I can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Work- It took forever and was a long and stressful process, but I have a new job, which has done so much to put me back on a position emotional level.

Have a great holiday full of triptophan :)

Really? Its time to move on

2008-11-20T19:54:00.001-08:00

To whoever keeps trying to leave nasty comments... let's get real here. I write my blog to keep in touch with my family and friends across the country. I don't advertise my blog. I don't try to get readers. I just like it as a way to keep in touch with people and get my thoughts down.

I'm sorry that you don't like me. If its Larry, I have two reasons you dislike me (either that i wouldn't sleep with you or that you think i'm trying to sleep with your ex). If its Beth, I assume its all the stuff Larry made up about me over the years. If its Sandy, I don't really care that you don't like me.

But you keep talking about how horrible I am of a person. How immature I am. How bitter I am. But you keep posting stuff on my blog after I've left employment there. I've moved on and hope you can as well.

Best wishes and feel free to keep reading if you want. But I'm only going to delete your comments from now on.

things are looking up

2008-11-17T16:40:00.000-08:00

I've been at my new job for a full week now. Everyone seems very nice and friendly. People seem content. I got an email today welcoming me aboard from one of the women I originally interviewed with months ago. And she said the nicest thing that would never have been considered to be said at the old employer. She said that they were lucky to have me. What a nice sentiment to hear!

My cubicle faces a window so I have a very nice view which I love!!!! However, the bathroom is really small and has a light that flickers so I find it to be creepy. But I am very happy to be there.

Although to some extent, I'm not sure how to work in a professional office. My supervisor communicates mainly through email and i'm used to that meaning that my boss is angry at me and not talking to me, but not here. Also, there's a really sweet woman about to retire who i call miss maxine. I'm taking over some of her territories to oversee and she calls me her new boyfriend, so of course i love her to pieces.

I even have some light developments on the boy-front in that I've had a good weekend with the boys. I went out to the bars on Friday and Saturday and both times had guys (cute guys) interested in me right away and chatting away all night. There was even making out. On Sunday,I had a date at 9am. We will see if there is a second one. The conversation was decent and he was cute, but when we left I wasn't quite sure if he would be contacting me again. I'll give it a day or two and maybe email him.

welcome to my former coworkers

2008-11-11T07:39:00.000-08:00

So in one of my previous posts, I wrote about this see you next tuesday that I worked with and how she crossed me and I turned around on her during my last week there. Well, I've gotten three nasty comments from anonymous on here because of it. I never get three comments on anything I ever write. So my assumption is the one guy who I know reads my blog (because he's commonly spread rumors about me) spread it around. So to at least him and to the person who that blog post was about, I'd like to say welcome to my readership. And if there are multiple people, I'm thrilled to have you all as readers :)

going away

2008-11-04T13:11:00.000-08:00

Last Friday was my last day at GW and they threw me the saddest most pathetic going away party I have ever seen. At first, they weren't going to have a going away party for me. After 6 years!!!! Nothing at all. Then on my last day, I find out that the director and two associate directors are throwing a halloween party for the students they mentor at the university. I was furious that I was getting nothing after 6 years but these students got a party after 3 months. At 3, one of the Associate Directors wanted me to come over per the request of the Director. I show up and she said suprise... apparently I have a party after all. What happened, however, was no students showed up to that party, so I got the leftovers from that party. But no one came to my party. It was me and the particular Associate Director who threw the party talking for half an hour. The director didn't even say good bye. Well, all I have to say is good riddance to bad offices.

I will finish it if you're going to start it.

2008-10-30T19:47:00.000-07:00

At work today, I had my first bitchy moment since putting in my notice. There is this woman we call Wilson (as in Wilson leather). She tans so much her skin is cracked and brown like some old leather from Wilsons. Two months or so ago, she complained to the powers that be that people were eating at their desks which began the reign of terror that is working at GW.

Walking by her office today, she had her lights turned out and was eating a huge lunch. I'm not sure why she had her lights off. THe properties of light and transparent windows would mean that for people to still not see her, the lights on both sides of the window should be turned off.

So I walked by the director of the center and asked if the rules had changed and whether or not we were allowed to eat at our desk. She said that was still the rule and asked if there was something that she needs to deal with. So i slyly said "no, i'm sure its nothing. I just walked by someone eating at their desk, but I'm sure its nothing, but just that Sandy was eating at her desk, but I'm sure its not worth anything." THen she said she would talk with Sandy aka Wilson about it.

Take that Wilson

changing with the weather

2008-10-30T08:34:00.000-07:00

So I'm at the home stretch of the job. I've handled this very well. I have not blown up at people or had it out with people who probably deserve it. But leaving has made me realize its not that important in the grand scheme of things. I can also tell the change in myself as well. I have less stress. I'm getting back into the swing of things at the gym and with the diet. I have to lose the weight I put on this year!!! That is a must. I've even made attempts at ending my dry romantic spell.

I had a date with a guy I met online on Tuesday before the High Heel Race. He was an asian optometrist who plays tennis. It was a great conversation. Few lulls in the conversation. The spark wasn't necessarily there, but I'm not sure I buy that you need a spark early into a dating world. But I don't think there will be a second date. I definitely am still all about having three dates before making a decision on a guy (unless its so bad you can tell right away). I did email him the next day and told him i enjoyed meeting him and we should hang out again. No response. Oh well, I'm not really upset about it. I can at least say I had a date recently and that's better than nothing.

Last night at the bar after trivia an attractive Clark Kent (which is going to be his halloween costume) sat next to me. I thought he was friends with the bartender, who I'm friends with (not just a patron of). So I started up a conversation. Apparently he wasnt really friends with the bartender, but we had a great conversation, which at times became more than just fluff that people who dont know each other talked about. The problem is... he's in a relationship. From the conversation, I believe it is on the way out. I just don't know if that will be next week, or three months from now. The other problem is the rebound thing as well, but I've been single for too long to turn someone down for that. At the end of the night I gave him my phone and told him to call me or look me up on facebook. I hope he does and think he might. He also kept kissing me goodbye. not on the lips or anything, but we hugged goodnight and he kissed me on the cheek, then a moment later he kissed my head, then kissed me on the cheek a couple more times. It was clear that he wanted a lips kiss, but that would've been inappropriate with him having a boyfriend and all. Hopefully we can be friends if nothing else.

Its Official!!!

2008-10-19T17:39:00.000-07:00

This past week I put in my notice at my current job. I have accepted a job with the Department of Education working on programs that get underserved students into college. I am thrilled and excited. I am sure at times I will have frustrations with the government as an employer, but I cannot see how it would be as bad as what I've been through at GW.

I have decided to take a professional role in ending my employment, rather than becoming a complete bitch like I had dreamed about at many times over the past year. My immediate supervisor who I thought would take it horribly has been incredible professional and supportive of my move (which I am greatly appreciating). The director of my office was a bit of a douchebag. When I quit to him he tried to throw out some negativity about job security at the program i am working on (but the feds arent going to fire me).

Overall I am thrilled and can't help but smiling. I do believe that Ohio State and South Florida (that was the USF from my last post)would have been doable, but not have made me happy since they were just more financial aid positions.

I start on November 10th and my last day at the current job is October 31st. Woo Hoo!!!!

Presidential Debate 2- notes and errata

2008-10-07T18:15:00.000-07:00

Random thoughts:

Who McCain should choose for treasury secretary? I vote for the teller at my bank. She knows how to count and always makes exact change. And she has as much experience, if not more, than Palin.

Meg Whitman? Didn't she lay people off today?

McCain is so stiff. He's doing his best to be engaging, but so stiff. I guess that means he'll get the ent vote from this debate. (for those who don't know, look for ents in Lord of the Rings).

Under McCain's plan for buying mortgages, can he get 7-10?

McCain looks like a serious d-bag when he's listening to Obama's answer.

Working with Joe Lieberman does not constitute bi-partisanship.

The Republican response to everything is to just say what they want if they do not want to answer the question or listen to the truth.

I'm not friends with John.

Is Obama telling me to turn off some lights in my apartment?

The average american is thinking: What does the inventor of the vacuum have to do with taxes?

job updates- no resolution

2008-10-04T17:10:00.000-07:00

I guess this week was the week of making progress on the job front but not making progress on the job front. In no particular order, here are the job updates.

USF- I applied for a job at USF through a search agency. The last round was that I filled out this immensely long paper application that I did back in August when I was in Portland. It does not look like I made it to the next round. They have chosen three people to interview in person and as they have not contacted me to come in, I assume that i was not in those three people. But they said that they didn't want to release the candidates from the job search until they make a final selection.

Ohio- Ohio has gone very very quickly on me. I applied back in June/July. BUt they weren't reviewing applications until mid-Aug. mid-Sept I have a phone interview. Within the week, they want to fly me out, so about two weeks ago I went out and had a day long interview with half a billion people. With as quick as they were moving I assumed i would hear one way or the other very very quickly. Plus they said they wanted to open the office that this position would run by the end of the month and that requires hiring 25 staff people. So the following Monday (a week ago) I got an email from the head of the search committee saying that they were calling references. It didnt say they were calling my references and i thought it was oddly phrased, but I ended up chalking it up to my own nervousness about getting a new job and decided it was a good thing. But then over the week, I checked with my references and none of them have gotten calls. But I can't imagine why she would say they were checking references if I didn't make the cut, rather than just not sending an update. I didn't email and ask for an update. So I don't know what will happen with that. I assume that she may email on Monday again with another update... or sometime this week I get a rejection letter? I dont really know.

ED- Still no word from the Dept. of Ed, which will be an official 6 months in another week or so since i first interviewed there. My friend who works there came and saw me at work the other day and i mentioned that I still hadn't heard anything and whatnot. He emails me the next day saying that the assistant secretary that I had interviewed with 6 months ago and then funneled me to this new office thought I had already started? Its like a comedy of errors it seems.

My thought is that if Ohio offers I will take it. Its too much money and added responsibilities to turn it down. If it is a no go then I will be more aggressive with the Department. So we shall see.

should i trust what they say at face value or stop jerking me around

2008-09-16T13:57:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I've decided I am seriously annoyed at ED. I have been in this job search with them for 5 months now. Fine, I understand that the federal government takes a long time, but this is ridiculous. Here's the latest:

Last week was the two week time frame since I delivered my paperwork to the hr woman who handles the office I'm trying to work for. I waited two weeks patiently and then emailed my friend who got me my original interview months and months and months ago. So I emailed him and was like: Its been two weeks, is that a normal time to wait to hear from them? I know there was a holiday weekend in there. Should I keep waiting. To which he says: He heard i was starting this week. I was like WHAT? HUH? Are you saying I could've quit my current job two weeks ago!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

But I shrugged it off and emailed LBJ and was like whats up, just checking in. I haven't heard anything yet, but wanted to make sure i didnt miss something in the meantime. She had the HR woman call again and tell me they were missing my transcript. MY TRANSCRIPT???? I could've gotten that to them two weeks ago. It takes me thirty seconds to get that document. But I was ok. I did it, sacrificed my lunch to get it to the woman. She took it and forwarded it on to the next person and she said that person should call me yesterday (monday) or this morning (tuesday). I waited patiently but still nothing. In the meantime a friend trying to work in the same office who has only been applying now for like a month or two has an offer. I know its not his fault but i'm a little perturbed that i havent gotten anything. I've started turning down other options over this. I'm a little angry.

If they are jerking me around they need to stop because i'm counting on this. But they keep saying its just a formality, but why does this formality take a month to accomplish?

threats

2008-08-31T09:32:00.000-07:00

So the office has been relocated and reorganized. Its been a very stressful time. With a week of a three hour commute. Then last week I was on campus and there are some serious problems with the arrangement. And of course that means that our nerves are at an end (not me but most people). So a parent complained to the President's office while i was in Portland about how she couldn't meet with someone since we were in the middle of packing and moving the office. So the director of my office sends me a nasty email about it since he had to call the woman back. And normally I would hold my tongue, but not anymore so i responded tersely that the email the woman wrote had nothing to do with the customer service that individuals provided her, but with how the office was organized now and that was the decision of higher ups. So he completely tried to throw me under the bus with the president's office and I told my immediate supervisor that if he wants to throw me under the bus then that is fine. Let me know and I will quit and walk out today. I was so livid about it. When I finally quit (which I hope and believe will be soon), it will take all my strength to give a full two weeks notice.

On a side note, it looks like i am just waiting for an official offer for a job. I heard on Wednesday from the office's HR person and they said that they were sending the paperwork to the main HR office and they are the ones who will make the official offer. I can't wait for that to happen. Keep that in your prayers.

job karma

2008-07-31T18:33:00.000-07:00

So in the most frustrating of times for me, I find it ironic- and this is partly the reason that I believe in god- that everyone I know has gotten a new job and I can't get anything. In the last week:

one friend is leaving my office (lucky girl)
one friend is moving to New Hampshire for a job in housing
one friend got an old job back that he wanted as a contractor for the government
one friend got a job back in her old office at a university
one friend was offered a job as an elementary school teacher
one friend moved to NYC to work in their family's business
one friend moved to LA for a new job at a university in admissions

There may be more that I can't remember right now. I am thrilled for all of my friends who are getting jobs right now and am excited that there is so much good new job karma out there right now. But I am also insanely jealous of these people. I want to know why I can't cash in on some of this job karma? Everyone else seems to be getting great offers and I can't get someone to look at me.

In fact, I was rejected for yet another job today. Associate Director of Financial Aid at Georgetown Law. Now don't get me wrong, I never expected to get the job. I had a great interview and was very impressive, but I know I overimpressed them. And I'm sure the reason I didn't get the job is because they saw me as someone who might leave after two years and they wanted someone for like 5 or 6, which they said during the interview. They did take like two months to finally getting around to rejecting me, but its still kind of demoralizing when I'm desperate to leave my office to not get a job when everyone else is getting one. Maybe this week will end incredibly and I'll get a job offer tomorrow, but I doubt it at this point. In fact, I've sort of given up all hope on new jobs at this point. To the point, I opened up to a national job search.

So keep up your hope that the good new job karma rubs off on me.

back on schedule

2008-07-20T13:20:00.000-07:00

The entire year so far, with all its difficulties for me, have made it hard for me to get on a good schedule... both with work, with exercise, and with school, much less a personal life. I finally feel over the last two weeks I've gotten on a good schedule with life. I've made it back to the gym on a regular schedule (and lost 6 lbs over the last week and a half--- but to be honest i had gained 15 this year so far). Work, I hope to have worked out very soon. Still doing the job search thing. I hope and have even started praying again that I can get a job offer really quickly. I have a little less than a month before I get demoted and moved to another location a million miles away.

Regardless of the crap that is happening, I'm staying optimistic, so please pray that I get a new job ASAP. I'd love to get back to having fun and happy postings on this blog.

Missed Connection

2008-06-29T10:59:00.001-07:00

So, I look at missed connections today, while at work... dont ask why i'm working on a Sunday... but i come across this ad.

Bill for First Lady-m4m-21 (Freddie's Beach Bar)

Saw you last night at Freddie's, and thought you were really hot. You had a shaved head, a red "Bill for First Lady" (HILLarious!) t-shirt and blue shorts. I was sitting down and wearing a white hat. You were with two guys (friends?). Two shy to give you my phone number. Never seen you at Freddie's before. Hope you see this, buy you a drink next time?

That was me... someone finally posted a missed connection about me!!!! I am soo excited by this. And I think I may actually know who the guy was... but we'll see after I respond to him.

:)

Social Spring Cleaning

2008-06-18T12:35:00.000-07:00

The last few days I've dedicated myself to social spring cleaning. Going through my online profiles (i.e facebook, myspace, friendster) and removing people i dont know, people who aren't real, bands, etc etc... and of course to cut two or three boys who play a few too many mind games that I was tired of. So on all the sites I listed that i was social spring cleaning, which got one of the guys to start IMing me (don't worry, I plan to cut him n July). But interestingly enough, a half dozen people I havent talked to in months all emailed me to make sure they weren't being cut.

Fascinating.

Well Deserved Break

2008-06-02T13:35:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow starts my vacation. I am taking two days off in DC. THen going to Gay Days. Hopefully that will rejuvenate me. As I looked at my vacation days, I realized I'm getting royally screwed this year. I still have 10 vaca days and 2 sick days. Normally, we can roll a couple over for the rest of the summer, but if I plan to vacate the job, rolling over doesn't help because I won't be paid for those. I have to find someway to take off half of june... hmmmmm

withdrawal

2008-06-01T12:27:00.000-07:00

So I realize why I haven't been posting much lately. When I get depressed, I withdraw into myself and try to avoid most contact with the outside world. For instance, I didn't go to any bars this past weekend, instead opting for some personal time with myself and watching television.

I haven't posted on here because I don't want to have to analyze how my life is going because it only upsets me further to have to consider how my life is not the way I want it going. Granted, its not as bad as it was 2 months ago, but its not where I want it to be.

I also have had this increasing desire to date a guy lately rather than the meaningless sex I am used to getting. Don't get me wrong, I love meaningless sex. For a while I couldn't figure out why then my friend Christopher figured it out for me. As other areas of my life are out of whack and unstable, I look to relationships to try and stable my life. Unfortunately, I haven't had much luck. And it just shows the instability of that aspect of my life all the more.

Hopefully very soon, all of this will begin to right itself and I will have a lot more stability in my life. Will keep you all updated

Single and loving it

2008-05-02T10:30:00.000-07:00

So my friend sent me an interesting article about gay couples at a young age settling down and getting married. You should read the article. It elicited a very interesting conversation. He was saying that he was offended because the article gave the impression that young men don't know anything about relationships and that type of coupling is seen as immature and not realistic. My friend's background is one that he coupled at a young age and they are still together, over 7 years.

My background to the article was completely different. I was offended because it portrayed the only ok situation to be one where an individual is coupled. That those who remain single are sick and need to be cured. I am single by my own choice (despite those recent postings about crushing on my ex) and i am content with that. I have high enough self-esteem that I know I can be a complete individual without someone else there. Could it be nice, if the right guy was there that I was in love with? sure. Am I less of a person because I am single, or have been for a while? No.

I once read a book about being single and it was dead on. Gay and Single... Forever? It was a very interesting book on gay relationships and friendships. Made a lot of sense and the author has a very compelling argument that society sets us up for failure because they tell us all the time that its unnatural to be single, which makes us codependent on the need for someone else. We jump into relationships that are horribly wrong for us because we fear aloneness.

Well I enjoy being alone sometimes and do not need someone there all the time. I do not need to date if the guy is the wrong person and I'm ok with that. I am still a confident and happy person, despite what the NYT tells me.

What are your thoughts on the article? Being single? Being in a relationship?

RIP: Debbie Does DC

2008-05-01T14:27:00.001-07:00

The DC Madam, Deborah Jeane Palfrey was found dead by suicide today. While I doubt that she actually killed herself (ahem republican senator was her client). She was an alum of Rollins College, like yours truly. But I enjoyed how she, like Larry Flynt showed America the hypocrisy of family values.

another week, some updates

2008-04-17T05:48:00.001-07:00

I started getting calls for interviews this week. A federal job, a consultant job, and a school/fin aid job have contacted me for interviews so far. I have to call back the school one still. The consultant one is next Tuesday. The federal one went yesterday. It definitely went well. We joked a lot during the interview. They discussed what timeline I was looking at. They asked what salary I made (after beating around the bush and not being able to figure out how to politely ask). At the end they even brought over a guy to introduce me to on my way out of the office. Definitely a nice discussion. Hopefully they'll move fast as this is the job I want.

I had a date last Sunday, but don't think there will be another one. I get the feeling all he wanted was a jump in the sack. Oh well. Not a big deal at all.

My ex was very sweet on Monday. First thing Monday morning I got a text telling me to have a good week. Awww. And people wonder why I crush.

breaking the silence

2008-04-10T14:27:00.001-07:00

I'm breaking the silence of some unofficial information that I've come into. It looks like my particular job will not be moved to the boonies. It looks as if my position will be eliminated altogether. Ive not been told this officially so I can't ask questions or get more details, but the source I have is incredibly reliable and therefore either information was not divulged to my source, or I am out of a job come July.

the first of not too many (i hope)

2008-04-10T06:58:00.000-07:00

My first interview is set up! Keep your fingers crossed.

a lot of progress made

2008-04-09T07:07:00.000-07:00

As I turned in a major assignment for class today, I realized that I've made a lot of progress this semester. yes, I am burnt out and exhausted, but progress has been made.

At the beginning of the semester, I had 10 salvageable pages for my dissertation. Now I have 97, almost 100. I still have a lot of work to do, but I am definitely making progress.

out of the blue, an ex.

2008-04-08T05:42:00.000-07:00

So last Friday I took the day off because I was "sick" and did school work all day. I got a lot accomplished but early afternoon, I got a random email on one of those networking sites from my last ex, Nathan.

Nathan and I dated 8 yrs and 50 pounds ago. Apparently he moved here about 6 months ago, but saw me the other day in a bar, but wasn't quite sure it was me. But he came across my profile, or searched my profile out (not sure which one it was) and emailed me and wanted to hang out and catch up on old times. So we planned to do that on Saturday night.

So Saturday night occurs. His friends and my friends meet at JRs. Where else would we go? Apparently some of his friends already knew some of my friends. So we hung out and chatted for the night. It was great to see him. While we ended on such bad terms, what a difference 8 years makes. He looks good and seems to be doing fine, although he did gain weight (evil grin), but not really that much. He did tell me that I look amazing (what 50 lbs does to someone) and that I'm doing really well. I enjoyed catching up with him and hope to hang out with him again.

Another interesting observation was that he referred to me as his ex all night long. While I'm sure most people in that situation would've been annoyed by it, I actually enjoyed it. I hate when my ex's (no matter how close we've become) call me their friend when introducing me to other people. I feel that it displaces and minimizes the closeness we once shared. So he called me his ex and I was pleased by that. I think I enjoy knowing that people aren't ashamed to having dated me.

The people I've told the story always ask me if there is the rekindling of a romance occurring and I'm curious about that. Am I saying stuff to make people think that I'm interested? Is an ex contacting you to get back in touch always meant as an I'm interested again? Do the people I'm telling this story to just think that its easy to fall back into a relationship because you were so close? Do my friends just want drama?

But.... (and there's always a but) I have questions. In part, in my inability to trust people, I'm always looking for the ulterior motive. Why did he want to catch up? Plan a time to meet up, rather than just saying hi in passing in a bar? What are most people's reactions when an ex wants to see you again? Does it mean he's interested in rekindling something? Does he want a try at friendship that was never there? Would I be willing to give such a chance?

And then there's the over-analysis on my part. Do I have a little crush in development? Am I just afraid of rejection (still after all the progress I've made with myself)?

last few weeks

2008-03-24T05:45:00.000-07:00

So I know its been forever since I've written an entry. Its been a long two weeks for me and I haven't wanted to
overwhelm my blog with the negativity I'd been going through. However, its time to get on with the blog, so I
decided I will just recap the entire past few weeks of life. (no, not all is negative)

About three weeks ago I was in O-town for a wedding. One of my close friends from college was marrying a
friend of mine from high school. Ironically they didn't meet until after I moved to DC and they did not meet
through me. It wasn't until a year into the relationship before we all made the connection. I was honored to be a
part of it. Two quick stories of note:

1. I always get taken advantage of by car rental agencies when they offer upgrades. Its not their fault, but I just
can't say no...... (dramatic pause)..... (laughter). So i upgraded into a convertable. Then it rained for two days
straight and was cold. So i didnt get to use the convertable.

2. My friends didn't invite other gay people to the wedding so no hookups there... and that's what groomsmen are
supposed to do right? So I didnt expect any action at the wedding. But while I was shopping for a wedding card at
Hallmark, I did hook up with an employee... in the store... during hours. So i give them credit for that.

Upon returning, as my blog post mentions... my office is being relocated. I am starting the job search. I have
applied for 5 jobs so far and am looking for more. Let me know if you know of any. I am having a hard time
balancing school and the job search. Its stressing me horribly.. but I'll survive.

I seem to keep getting guys interested in me in restrooms. What is it with being in the bathroom and guys start
talking to me but outside they dont talk to me at all. I also ran into the coke head hookup I had... I think he
remembers me as he was chatting with me... umm don't know how to handle that at all. He works at a store I
went shopping at today. Luckily I only go in there once every couple of months.

One of my close friends is ill right now. Breast cancer. So please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

So thats been my last couple of weeks.

D-Day

2008-03-11T09:22:00.000-07:00

I thought today would be a post about the wedding I was at this past weekend and everything I did in Florida. However, D-Day has occurred. Our director informed us today that the office will be relocated on August 15th. He didn't say where yet, but there is definitely no reason to believe it will not be Ashburn, VA. For those non-DC readers I have, Ashburn VA is like 30 miles away from the city. So as of today, I begin my job search again.

If you know of one that might fit, let me know.

a day at the office

2008-02-22T09:18:00.001-08:00

Thanks to David for sending this one.

http://glumbert.com/wii/view.php?name=baddayoffice

Welcome to DC!

2008-02-20T09:12:00.001-08:00

So, I am finally a full fledged resident of the District of Columbia. After putting off the decision for years to maintain my Florida residency, last Friday I went to the DMV and got a Washington DC license. I have also registered to vote in the District. So DC is now officially my home. I am very excited by it... and surprisingly my summons to jury duty has not got to me yet.

The DMV wasn't nearly as bad nor as intimidating as people made it out to be. I went to the one in Georgetown and I was in and out within an hour. In fact the woman who was helping me loved me and we gossiped and talked about Florida and her new computer and hairstyle, etc etc. It was a very positive experience for me.

Cool Video...

2008-02-14T15:12:00.001-08:00

This was pretty awesome! Check it out.

Thanks to Lisa for sending it.

Two steps forward, one step back.

2008-02-07T09:41:00.000-08:00

I feel like the process to completing your dissertation is one of two steps forward, one step back. I made some good decisions about my dissertation in the last two weeks. First, I'm dropping a research question that is only tangentially related to my project (this will allow me to drop a third of my literature review). Secondly, I found an already constructed data source from a university that asks thousands of students questions about my topic (this will make data collection so much easier). But then, as I was going through my chapter one that I wrote last November, I realize its not salvageable with these changes and I have to scrap it. Granted its only 20 pages, but I'm slightly depressed about doing the work again and have found it hard to stop up. And hard to go to the gym, and hard not to eat double cheeseburgers all day. So I've taken two steps forward but then had to take one step back.

Unacceptable!

2008-02-01T07:11:00.000-08:00

So I was at the gym yesterday afternoon on my lunch break. When I was post-workout, post-shower dressing to head back to the office, this guy whose locker was like 5 down from mine pulled out a large stack of mail and started going through it. He was sorting his bills, reading his mail, etc etc. He made piles all along a bench to the point no one could use the bench (bench etiquette in the gym is something that really bothers me... your bag doesn't need to be on the bench if someone needs to sit down). I thought it was appalling to have one's entire mail for the past week on the bench and going through it there. I thought that would be the end of this post....

But I went back for my post-work workout yesterday (about 3 hours after the lunchtime one). He was still there with what seemed to be everything he owned there (no i dont think he's homeless, but he could be). But he had a two liter of orange soda out and was eating a Sarah Lee Cherry Cheesecake right out of the tin. I was like "am i on candid camera, or is this a fucking joke?" WHy not have a pizza delivered to the locker room? Have a cable tv installed in your favorite locker? I understand making yourself at home at the gym but this was a little overboard.

birthday celebration

2008-01-31T07:17:00.000-08:00

My birthday was this past weekend. I had a great time celebrating. I changed it up this year instead of the normal Halo til you drop evening, I chose a different bar. So we descended on Nellie's, a gay sports bar. I know I know.. A gay sports bar you say, isn't that an oxymoron? Well, yes it kind of is. They had four televisions upstairs. One had the election results from South Carolina. One had figure skating (a truly gay sport). One had a Georgetown basketball game, so I assume the people watching it were alums supporting their alma mater. And the other had some other sport where people touch a ball and run somewhere. (My knowledge of sports is astounding isn't it?).

Following that, we went to Town, the relatively new dance bar that opened up. Danced the night away, met a couple guys, you know the usual routine. Left there at about 3 am and proceeded to Annie's Steakhouse for breakfast. Yummy.

The next morning I slept til 2pm so I could sleep through my hangover. I woke up at 11 with a horrible headache and decided i didn't need to move until I was done with that pain.

A great birthday. Thanks to all those that called/ came/ or emailed.

goodbye evil doing bank SOB

2008-01-23T06:13:00.000-08:00

I know its been a long long time since i've written... My life, incredibly dull. But I do have exciting news on the personal finance front. I have paid off all of my private student loans. When in undergrad, I made the horrible horrible mistake of taking out this direct to student educational loan from a bank whose initials are WF. After years of ridiculously high interest rates (in the range of most credit cards) I am now done with that infernal bank and am glad to be done and finished with them. Luckily, I am in a position to do something about them (as a financial aid counselor) and I will certainly dissuade any student thinking about them from applying for one of those loans.

political observations

2008-01-09T14:11:00.000-08:00

Its been an exciting few days in the world of politics, and most of you know how excited I am by elections. Who knew Hillary would be able to come back that way in Iowa, or Edwards wouldn't make a real dent in Iowa. But I have some thoughts so far.

I'm glad Hillary won in NH. I will gladly support either candidate come November, but Obama needs to hone his campaigning. If he is to become the nominee (not saying he is not saying he isnt), he doesn't really have any campaign skills. He won the senate nomination after one of his opponents had to bow out after a sex scandal. His main opponent then became a guy who bowed out after a sex scandal leaving him to run against of all people Allan Keyes (who once had a great show called Allan Keyes is Making Sense... and the inside joke was he was the only one on the show who didn't make sense). So with that behind him if he had an easy coronation, he'd lose to a more skilled campaigner in the GOP side. So he needs to lose a few of these things. On the other hand Hillary needed this to get more in touch with her emotions.

Some other winners and losers:

Loser: Edwards- After campaigning for four years in Iowa, even though everyone thinks he's very nice, came in barely second place.

Loser: Romney- It sucks to be the victim of religious discrimination, but you are.... Remember that next time you oppress gay people.

Winner:Super Tuesday- Finally a chance for more than two states to select the president.

Loser- polls: they still can't get it right.

Winner: John McCain- while this may be a re-match of 2000 for him, he shows that he can still be an elder statesman

Loser- Rudy Giuliani- Technically he's not campaigned rigorously in these places, but his showings are abysmal. If Ron Paul does equally good, that doesn't say much for you chances.

2007

2008-01-02T09:10:00.000-08:00

Much like Time does its people of the year, on my really long drive back from Florida, I came up with some people/things of the year.

Runner up number 2: DP. After the Shaun episode happened a few years ago, I was missing that friend who encouraged me to be bad and misbehave. DP really filled the role this year and looks to continue to fill that role. He's definitely pushed me to being more open and outgoing and I think it shows.

Runner up number 1: Philadelphia. After opening up a job search to Philly this year and being offered three jobs, all of which ended up falling through for various reasons. But who knew that it would take the opportunity to relocate to another city to realize I was actually happy in the one that I live in.

Person of the Year: boys. Yes, i know its generic, but I feel as if 2007, I started to come into my own and make some headway with boys. I had better luck this year than I have had in the past. I could've had a relationship (albeit with a crazy). I was able to get boys and I wasn't so afraid of sex this year. 2008 only promises to get better on this trend as well.

A bit more from Florida

2007-12-26T10:54:00.000-08:00

1. Why is everyone in this house so loud? Don't get me wrong, I am incredible appreciative that I can crash on the couch and not have to get a hotel room. But something has to be said that no one even remotely tries to be quiet when im sleeping no less than 5 feet from the kitchen. I understand that noise will happen, but when i have to hear screams and arguments (not that my family fights all the time, this is just how they communicate) every morning at seven it just kills me.

2. I enjoy running into people who i used to know a long time ago. Now that I've lost a bit of weight and am all self-confident, I am so much more successful than so many people!!!!! Yay me for getting to show it all off :)

On a side note: New Years is coming up. For the last two years my resolution was to go on 3 dates with the same guy. I decided that with David/Tony I succeeded at that. So what should i resolve this year? Any thoughts?

A bit from Florida

2007-12-24T13:57:00.000-08:00

I'm in Florida for the holidays, so my apologies for not writing. In addition my life is pretty boring. However, some observations are still in order.

1. Sometimes you need to learn to take no for an answer. At least once on a trip to Florida I try to eat at Checkers since there is only one in DC in the middle of Southeast, so I never go there. So I got some Checkers on the way home and my step-mother tried to offer me food like 5 times and I said to her Can't you see the bag of food right in front of me that I'm eating.

2. Why am I the only one in my family who is ok with waiting til the afternoon of Christmas to open presidents and let everyone be there at the same time, rather than doing it piecemeal. Or if we are doing it piecemeal, I should get to go first so I can go drink/dance.

3. If you ask me if I'll be home for dinner that intones that someone will be making it, not just will I be eating something i make for myself at the kitchen table. So if you plan on giving me a guilt trip for not being home for dinner, then you have to cook a dinner for me to arrive at.

In other observations, its sad that my friends are nowhere to be found. I even cut down the list of people to see for this shortened trip and I've got confirmation from one for my last day in town. I guess next year's trip will be cut down even more...

What a weekend.

2007-12-07T10:14:00.000-08:00

I thought the holidays were supposed to go slow so i could write more in the blog. Guess not. So in honor of this weekend, which will be dedicated to me doing school work, as my final assignments for the semester are due next Friday and I am so behind you would have no idea, I will write about last weekend, which was very sociable and great.

As I've often said, once a fat person always a fat person, meaning that when you feel like you are actually a fat individual, you never really lose that feeling and its hard to regain self-confidence entirely and be like you know what I'm hot. With that said: you know what I'm hot and last weekend proves it. There were like 6 men (on Friday and Monday) that were chasing me.

Friday night started at JR's... what night doesn't start at JR's.. and when is JR's going to put up their X-mas decorations? There was a latin guy, average attractiveness who kept giving me the eyes. I decided it was too early to settle down and pin my hopes with him. We hit Pasha for a quick second then head to Apex, where i turned into mac daddy. So my friends i was with were having a "discussion," that term my grandparents used when they fought. So I decided to go to the bathroom, where i met this latin guy who was all like "hola" from 10 feet away. So as we washed our hands we started to talk. We didn't make a decision to go home or anything but he was being flirty and that's what I needed. Then while back on the dance floor, this tall, skinny, asian guy (as i call him the asian equivalent of lp) came up and started talking. We flirted a little bit, then you turn your back and he was flirting with another.... oh well. Then a final trip to the bathroom before i left started a conversation with a 24 year old Guatemalan.. very cute and I think he was going to go home with me... but then some awkwardness ensued unrelated to him.

David/Tony, if you remember him from March/April showed up with his friend that he thought I was trying to sleep with. As me, LP (the caucasian one) and the Guatemalan were ready to go, his friend comes up to me and is all like you look great, have you lost weight (i had indeed :) and how were things. Then i realized how awkward it may be for David/Tony because his "ex" (for no better term- meaning me) was there looking great and macking it. I'm sure it made him feel awkward. Then the Guatemalan went and started talking to someone in his group and i'm not sure, but may have been part of his group... so i didnt want to make it more awkward, so i slipped him my phone number and said to call. He hasn't but what are ya gonna do?

Monday: Was at JR's (surprise) and had a 23 y/o pilot flirting with me a bit. But the convo was strained at times, so i didn't press too hard. Then my friends decided to ask me if i thought one of their friends was cute because he was apparently way into me. He's a flight attendant... that started us talking for the rest of the night. I gave him my number. It took a couple days, but he started texting last night after we ran into each other again (guess where?) and made out a little bit.

So the boy situation seems to be going well.

job search

2007-11-28T08:23:00.000-08:00

A bad story and a good.

The bad. I had applied to be director of financial aid for a law school of a public institution in DC. It was supposed to be an easy get for me. I had all the qualifications, I knew the computer system they were installing, and I had a good contact for the position. Then when I got back from Louisville and got an email from my contact asking if I had applied. I replied in the affirmative and said I got a letter back from the HR department saying they received it. So I was instructed to call the woman who was the current director. And she was apologetic and said that the hr department never forwarded me on and she was upset b/c they probably would've hired me since the person they hired didn't have financial aid experience. yadda yadda. And then she said something that a few other people have said, which is "You're probably lucky to not work here anyways." Now i understand its not the greatest place to work, but if i hate that job and i hate my current job but that job pays 25,000 more a year why would i be lucky not to work there?

The good. Another job interview in Philly next week. We'll see what happens. Maybe the third time is the charm.

Keep your fingers crossed.

I just want to be friends...

2007-11-26T13:45:00.000-08:00

So, over the holiday break I had three experiences (with two guys) in which it was someone who I don't really want to be friends with who decided they want to be friends and hang out etc etc. Both are guys that at some point I was marginally interested in, but when I made a move (which takes balls btw), they told me they just wanted to be friends or we went out a few times and then i got the friends talk.

And for the most part these guys are very nice individuals, i just have enough friends and wasn't interested in pursuing friendship with them. In one case, I just got an email from one of them saying he wanted to hang out and catch up because we always had such a great time together... Truth of the matter is he had a great time, I had an ok time that I played up because I was flirting. But when he said he wasn't interested in more then I didn't have to pretend and I stopped pursuing altogether.

The other guy I'll give more credit to because we actually went out a few times, but he stopped by a group that I was hanging out with on Wednesday night. Then at some point in conversation asked the group if we thought he was sexy... really? I got rejected by someone with low self-esteem. And how am I supposed to respond to that question? No, I haven't though that since you rejected me? Or do I flirt and say I always found you to be sexy.

And in truth this really hasn't bothered me... i'm just bored and had nothing else to post about :) But i had a realization... as i strive to improve my self-esteem. Its not good to surround yourself with people who tell you that you're not good enough, or I don't like you enough. Its hurtful to be surrounded with people who have all said you're not number 1 and doesn't do me any good.

Am I right? Or do you think I have sour grapes?

on the dancefloor

2007-11-19T14:13:00.000-08:00

DC opened up a new gay dancebar this weekend called town. I went and realize how sad it was that i knew tons of people there, more than the group of friends i was with who seem more social than i am.. guess i was wrong.

But at some point in the bathroom, I ran into this guy that i went on a date with like 2 years ago. A Peruvian guy named Cesar. We started talking on the dancefloor where he complimented my hair (he knew me before it went buzzed) and my weight loss. He said he barely recognized me. Take that bitch! I'm thin and beautiful. Then his tongue went into my mouth :)

Good times being thin.

on the way to work

2007-11-15T10:21:00.000-08:00

So yesterday as I walk to work, this cute Latin guy crossed the street in front of me and checked me out. Then he walked a ways ahead of me for two intersections. At which point he crossed the street to head to the YMCA. Then he turned and saw me looking back at him. He smiled. I smiled. He waived. I waived. I posted a missed connection. He hasn't responded yet :)

But at least I'm starting to realize that boys are checking me out.

Conferencing

2007-11-14T13:07:00.000-08:00

So over the past week I have been at two separate conferences. From last Wednesday through Saturday I was at the ASHE conference in Louisville, KY. I went for the pre-conference policy sessions, which was really good. I was able to make a lot of contacts with people, like all the big names in my research area. I also made some new friends, which was nice.

I presented my paper. I got some nice compliments on it like "it was well written," "I enjoyed reading it." and "Your reference list was so complete I feel I could now teach a class on college choice." But then the reader/discussant said he didn't feel comfortable giving feedback because he was unfamiliar with the panels methodologies... (copout answer if i ever heard one). So I didn't really get any feedback on how to improve my paper. Afterwards there was one person who asked a question and it was totally not a question, just him ranting about lottery scholarship programs. Afterwards the chair of our session asked if we'd like to answer and one woman said... there was no question, just a rant. hahaha it was great. In addition to that I was talked to by the editor of a journal who said i should submit when i finish my dissertation. YAY.

Also, conference men (much like the latins) seem to love me. I had men eating out of my hand left and right and checking me out all the time. I even made a conference boyfriend. It was a great relationship... sadly he has a real life boyfriend so we wont be more than conference boyfriends (let me know if you need this concept explained). But that story is cute. I interrupted he and his friend talking about something to ask where the bar was at a social. He said there was none, but you had to grab it from the waiters when they came by. I looked confused and distraught.... so he offered me a sip of his wine, which i took. And then we introduced ourselves. But we made sure to hang out at some point each day at the conference.

and of course shenanigans ensued at north america's largest gay bar.

In coming days for my catch up: the second conference, this boy flirting with me on the way to work, and more.

Funniest Thing Ever!

2007-11-05T13:30:00.001-08:00

Note: This link is not safe for work or for school, but is hysterically funny and you need to read this. Oh how i love DC

http://keithiskneedeepinmud.blogspot.com/2007/10/crack-is-whack.html

What they teach in the business school...

2007-11-02T10:20:00.000-07:00

I had to go to an awards ceremony at work yesterday morning. It was the customer service awards at my institution and somehow I was nominated and became a finalist.... which is hysterically funny to anyone who has seen me or heard me talk about work. But while I was there, I ran into this woman I interviewed with a long time ago for a job that I know they hired someone else for, but at no point did they ever tell me that they weren't going to hire me, or they completed their search or anything like that. Which is unprofessional, but not the worst unprofessionalism that occurred.

So I'm walking up these stairs with my boss right next to me and this woman i interviewed with for a job at our business school grabbed my shoulder. I turned thinking who the hell is touching me. I say hi and she says do you remember me? I said yeah, you're (insert strange woman's name here). She said she talked to a friend of mine the other day who said i said something like "is she EVER going to tell me I didn't get the job?" Which I sort of said, but only in retaliation for what my friend said about my office and I didn't quite phrase it that way... which is what i said to the woman (the second part, not the first). So she goes on and on and on about how long the search took then she was embarrassed to contact people, but how i was a great candidate and whatever. All with my boss in earshot.... Great! I get fired on customer service day because this crazy woman tells the world how i've applied to other jobs.. wonderful.

And truth be told, at one time I cared about the job and would've liked some feedback, but by not hearing until now in such an unprofessional way, clearly I'm not going to take any criticism well and have no desire to work for this woman....

But I assume that she has learned her professional techniques from what they teach at our business school, so I'm a little worried about that.

Should I be concerned?

2007-10-30T13:41:00.000-07:00

So in a weird thing that has developed with my health is that I seem to have taken up sleep eating. Essentially I eat while I am asleep. The stories are usually that people gorge on candy bars and junk food while in bed and don't remember it the next morning. Mine seems to be a little different.... I measure myself a cup of cereal and eat it in the middle of the night. The next morning I realize this is what I did when I see a dirty measuring cup and dirty bowl with milk in the bottom of both. I did some research on it and they say that stress can cause this to occur temporarily and I'm assuming thats what it is. However, I am not entirely sure this is it, or that I'm not really getting enough calories in a day. I should probably start calorie counting again to double check that. But I am none too happy about this.

I'm a fool...

2007-10-29T06:35:00.000-07:00

I realize this starts off with it sounding like i'm going to be putting myself down, but for my normal cycle with boys, I'm actually quite proud of my realization and ability to end the cycle of crap that I get downloaded with by other people.

So this youngish boy flirted with me a few weeks ago and since every once in a while you just need that type of special attention I developed a crush. Yes, I knew from the beginning it was a crush, but you know that can be just as bad as actual attachments and feelings. So of course I got giddy whenever he'd text or call etc etc. So one night when we hung out I bought all his drinks all because i wanted the attention a little bit more.

So this weekend was one of those moments. He called. He broke up with his boyfriend and wanted someone to listen(which is ironic--- as multiple people called in this same circumstance and this could probably be said of them). I, of course, being the dope that I am thought... this will be great to get in with him.. i can be the sweet guy to the rescue. So he came over and I listened to all his problems and offered to buy him dinner since he was in a bad financial situation right now. So we go out to dinner and I have the epiphany on the way to dinner that he's only doing this b/c he's an attention whore. He likes the fact that boys pay him attention. He has absolutely no interest in me, never has and never will, but he likes that I flirt with him, he likes that I ignore everyone else when he is around, and he likes that i insist on paying (even though he offered to pay multiple times- my blog readers should know me well enough to know i wouldn't accept it). So we have dinner, he has a few drinks and then insults me during dinner a few times. Wow is all i have to say. As is usually the case with these types of people (as I have been through them enough to know) that despite how incredible of a guy i am to them and open and honest and nice and caring, they always have an insult ready to throw at you for no particular reason.

I waited out dinner and still paid (rather than getting up and leaving right then, as i should have). He did offer, but we all know i'd still pay for it... my weird chivalry. He even made jokes about how I should leave right away. He even made comments about hooking up with or going out with my other friends, which is a slap in the face when you know someone likes you (yes, he knew i liked him--- that was made clear a few days prior).

BUt (this is the redeeming part for me) normally I would stay in this cycle for weeks trying to analyze if he's interested or not. But this time I realized it in a good week and am ending it. I don't plan on hanging out with him again. Chances are we'll see each other in passing or in public events, since we know the same people. But I'm pretty much done with it and the drama. I deserve better than what I've gotten and I know it.

philly part iii- the conclusion

2007-10-26T12:52:00.000-07:00

Well, surprisingly, I was offered the job in Philly. They offered it without checking any references and all that. Unfortunately the pay was no where close to what I needed to relocate. Sad. But I am not upset about it like i was Drexel at the beginning of the year. I'll just keep looking.

enough with the crazies

2007-10-25T07:47:00.000-07:00

I think I figured out one of the reasons I've not been successful in meeting men. Because I talk myself out of it as when i make the rare attempt at connecting, they are crazy. Case in point last night. I go to JR's for trivia night. And my crush is there and he wants to go to Chaos afterwards. I wanted to go home, but I have a crush so of course i did. As we walk in my entire group is checking out this latin guy in shorts. The latin guy, George as we find out, is checking me out. So I make a move. I give him my phone number. This ensues a conversation to occur and we later decide to go back to my place for a hookup. (don't judge- I'm human and need to be touched every so often). Now we already knew there would be some problems sexually as we both are the same positions, if you catch my drift. We go back to my place and start to fool around. He keeps trying to top me and i have to explain many times that I'm not interested in that. I have to keep him from that part of my body. Then shortly after we get naked he pulls out a baggy of coke and takes two bumps and tries to force me to take it. I'm not having any of that shit (ironic word choice). Well, as I learned from gay romantic comedy Adam and Steve, coke can give you the runs. I guess he got them because he went to the bathroom and he came back and while he was clean he smelled like crap. So i decided he had to go. I picked up my phone and said my boyfriend was on his way home and he needed to go. Took me forever to get him into the elevator but i did... Thank god i have a confusing building that people can't find my apartment again. :) Then the guy calls 7 times during the night and doesn't leave a message. Obviously I didn't answer, but this is a problem when you use your cell phone as your alarm clock.

awkward interview

2007-10-24T08:59:00.000-07:00

So on Thursday afternoon I get a call from the VP that I met with. He asked if I would be available to come up on Friday (me thinking he meant the following Friday since that's when I said I'd be available), but i questioned it and asked if he meant tomorrow or the following week. He meant tomorrow... so i told him i'd call him back.

I made travel arrangements and went to Philly. Got to have lunch with Catherine, which was very nice.

So I get to the interview and meet with four people at once. The VP, the HR person, the Director of ADmissions, and the Comptroller for the university. They all seemed like nice people. But the interview only lasted 45 minutes, half of which was me asking questions. 45 minutes!!!! for a director position??????? Then none of them really knew anything about financial aid. SO i'd use some basic terms and they were lost. Thank god they knew the word FAFSA. Then the guy interviewing me started adding stuff to what my resume said and i had to correct him. They also asked me a lot of what i consider to be entry level questions... like how do you deal with difficult situations. Yes, I understand this position would have a lot of counseling attached to it, but my resume shows I have that and they should've been asking more questions like, can you run this software or this report.. etc.

I left thinking that maybe I'm not such a good match for this position but i might still take it for the right amount of money.

Yesterday I get a call from the school, but no message. Thats how we were when I was playing phone tag, but it seems weird that as we made the connection now you'd not leave a message. I checked with my references, but none of them said they were contacted. Weird. Not sure how to read that.. any thoughts?

But I am leaning against taking the position at this point regardless. I guess I'm still meant for DC at this point. We'll see though when I actually talk to him.

phone tag ends

2007-10-16T12:45:00.000-07:00

So I've been playing phone tag with that VP of Finance and Administration for about a week now. He called Wed afternoon and Thursday morning, I called THursday afternoon, he called Friday about 4, I called Monday morning, I called Tuesday morning... Got him. Finally. So phone interview occurs... a brief one of about 10 minutes or so.

We make jokes about how hard it has been to reach each other. He asks why I'm considering leaving my current institution. I give a half truth of there is no more upward mobility in my office (which is true) but leave out the fact that the higher administration is seriously screwed up about financial aid and trying to move my office to our satellite campus. He asked what my salary was. He asked why I'd be a good fit and what I'd bring to the table. He also tried to sell me on Philly and telling me whats going on there and I already knew a little bit about the city and already liked the city. In addition, he tried to sell the position telling me I'd have a great opportunity to learn admissions and have higher up responsibility.

He seemed very nice. And he said he'd call me back by tomorrow to solidify a date for me to come up there and visit the campus.. most likely next Friday afternoon.

Will keep you all updated

something about that city

2007-10-11T13:04:00.001-07:00

I know it seems I'm always on a job search, but for right now I am always on a job search. And if i ever get one, you will get one very cathartic post on why i need to leave my current place of employment.

But I opened up the job search to a slightly larger distance. I feel I am far enough along in my doctoral program that I can feasibly finish from another city beginning in January. So the other day, I applied to a school in Philly for Director of Financial Aid. Its a slight larger step than i think i might get, but i thought i need to try anyways. Much like the last school i applied to work at in Philly, they seem to have jumped at me.

I applied Tuesday afternoon after a frustrating staff meeting. By Wednesday afternoon (about 24 hours later) I had gotten a phone call from the VP of Finance and Administration at that institution to talk about the position. Wow! I feel good when people do that. Now he and I are playing phone tag, but its good that we're at least going to talk.

But what is it about the schools in that city jumping at me? Is it that they realize what a great employee I could be and DC schools refuse to notice that? Or is it just that they have their act together in the hr departments and call quickly to get jobs filled, rather than DC which seems to take months to do anything. DC and its all encompassing red tape seems to permeate society, not just the government.

But this may also be God's way of telling me I belong in Philly. So we will see. I will keep you all updated as this goes on.

Another Latin Man

2007-09-27T14:22:00.000-07:00

So I seemed to have rebounded nicely from the Jose episode and with another latin man. A long time ago, I started talking to this guy Juan on gay.com. I later found out he was friends with another friend of mine and so we periodically chatted online. Every so often I'd IM him or he'd IM me, but we never met. At the grocery store on Saturday, I saw him. He was shopping and listening to his iPod, so I didn't disturb him, but it caused me to IM him when I saw him online later that night. So we finally picked a date to actually meet and hang out. That night was yesterday. We decided to order pizza and watch a movie at my place (yeah, I know what I always say about staying in on a first date equating you plan to have sex, but whatever.. he was hot and nice so who cares if i end up having sex).

So he comes over and we watch two movies and order pizza. The pizza was Papa JOhns and was pepperoni and green peppers. The movies were Employee of the Month and The Devil Wears Prada. We watched the movies and made out a little bit.... ok a lot. It was very nice. I am sure we will go out, or in again. Its been two days so I think I will email him later today to tell him to give me a call when he gets back from vacation, which is another trait.. i seem to always go on first dates right before people go on vacations.

But I am confident that there will be a second date.

boy at the gym

2007-09-18T05:58:00.001-07:00

This story starts off so well that at some point you'll be like.... awww that's so cute. About a month ago, I was on the elliptical at the gym (yes, all my stories involve the gym and working out). This cute latin guy is walking to the changing room and is about 50 feet from me. All of a sudden, his hands go up over his head and he waves right towards my direction. I thought how interesting, I wonder who he is waving at. I look around, no one is anywhere near me. But I was still like, nah... he's not waving at me. Then at some point a couple days later I was coming into the gym as he was leaving and he nodded and said hi to me.... WOW he was waving at me, was my thought. So this continues for a while. A lot of big smiles, a lot of nods, a lot of waves from across the gym floor. So I decide at some point that he's making the overtures, I should give him my phone number. This happened on Friday. He was there and waved from a distance, so I'm like, this is it.. now or never.. and all those other cliches. So, I got really nervous. Apparently, I'm still at a seventh grade level when it comes to asking boys out. I had all the butterflies in my stomach I could possibly imagine. But I went and got something to write down my number with and wrote it down on my business card. Then, I went back to the floor to hunt him down. He was with the free-weights, which is the most intimidating part of the gym to me and I won't go in there. So I got on a couple additional machines waiting for him to come out of that area, even though my work out was done. He came out and went to a machine in a corner, so i literally cornered him. I got his attention, he took out his ipod. Then I was a complete dork... and was like "I don't mean to interrupt your workout, but I think you're really cute and you seem really nice and I wanted to know if you wanted to hang out sometime (as I handed him my business card with my phone number on it)." He said "sure." We exchanged names. And we giggled. It was sooo dorky, we both got giggly about it. After we finished talking, I walked away and we watched each other the entire time and was smiling and giggling. (that's the awww part)

Sat. no call. Sun. no call... but ....

I saw him at the gym. He waved and came over to talk to me. He said he was sorry he hadn't called by then, but he had a partner of three years. (A PARTNER OF THREE YEARS?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?) How was that not the first thing out of his mouth when I gave him my phone number????? Seriously. He went on to say that he wouldn't mind having coffee but it would just be that.... (i was silent and didn't answer that request, because, well to be honest I'm not looking for new friends right now, I'm looking for some dating experience). But I am a little disappointed and demoralized right now over it. I'm sure I'll be ok in a couple of days, but I am tired of all the dating bs that exists.

the lexicon of weight loss

2007-09-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, when I got back from San Francisco, I tweaked my diet to see if I could get the scale moving again. Essentially, I cut back on drinking from 7 days a week to 2 days a week. It seems to have been the ticket. Since the beginning of September through today, I have lost 8 pounds. In fact, this week, I may very well break below 200 (since I weighed 200 exactly last Thursday). Although, I sometimes feel that its just the scale not working. But hopefully it has (crossed fingers).

But I was out and about the other day and got a compliment about my weight loss and I started thinking about it. Inevitably, every compliment about weight loss is a backhanded compliment about how less fabulous you looked before. Not that I don't want to get all the great compliments as I lose the weight, but still... Why does all of our encouragement to the formerly big-boned have to be, you used to look horrible. For instance, you look great means before you didn't.

One of my friends told me to my face, knowing I could appreciate how this comes across. And he's right about it, but it made me think about how we compliment people. J1 and J2 were walking to the bar that I was outside of on Friday night.

J1: Is that Scott?

J2: No, I think that guys too skinny to be Scott.

J1 and J2 (as they get closer): It is Scott!...

I appreciate that that means I'm skinnier than I used to be and skinnier than people think I am, but all losing weight comments are like that. oh well.

nice compliment

2007-09-05T05:39:00.000-07:00

So I was at work last week. I helped this guy fill out loan paperwork and then he moved to the next desk so i could help other people. At the end of him filling it out, he asked for my business card and he gave me mine. Then he said "just so you know, I'd hire you anytime." I was like ok.... what do you do, and had a quizzical look on my face. Then he said he was a former college president and when I looked at his card it was a name that I knew. He's been a college president like four times over.

The next day he stopped back to change something on his application and I joked with him that I almost printed my resume for him on the spot, so he said that I should email it to him and when I got ready he'd shop it around.

So that made my day last week.

something fun to make you laugh

2007-08-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

San Fran- the bad, or Dear Northwest Airlines: you suck!

2007-08-20T08:30:00.000-07:00

Dear Northwest Airlines:

I regret to inform you that after my most recent trip with your airlines I will no longer fly Northwest for any of my travel plans. I have taken your airlines for each of the trips I have taken this past summer. Inevitably, each one has left a bad taste in my mouth. I write this letter not expecting to get a response or any positive resolution. It is my current belief that your airline encourages passengers to write these letters so you have something funny to pass around the office to know how you have made someone’s vacation miserable.

On my first trip, I flew to Seattle, Washington from Washington, DC. On the way back, a gate employee notified the passengers that the flight on one of the legs was oversold and would anyone be willing to change their flight and get a voucher. I was willing to do so. I got a voucher (which due to the extremely high price of this trip, I didn’t really save any money compared to what I could’ve gotten through your competitors through Orbitz, Hotwire, or any of the other travel price comparison websites. And then when I finally did arrive back home in Washington DC and I went to the baggage claim area since my flight should’ve already arrived. I found my luggage destroyed. Correction, I found my new luggage destroyed- luggage that was used only once before was now unusable. Technically, I knew there was no way to prove if it was Northwest’s fault, or the fault of the TSA. But at the point I am at now, I believe that it’s the fault of Northwest because your employees seem to have absolutely no regard for anyone else.

Regardless of how the Seattle trip ended, I was thrilled to be coming out for another trip to San Francisco. Oh the horrors of travel though. On the first leg of my flight (August 7, 2007), from DCA to Detroit, Michigan, we were informed that there was bad weather at the airport and for thirty minutes we needed to fly over Ohio until we had permission to laugh (or land as the case may be- thanks for pointing out the error). That thirty minutes turned into an hour and a half. Triple the time that was announced. Now, I completely understand that the weather is out of your hands (though I’m starting to doubt that as well). The fact that the pilot didn’t inform us of continuing delays was inconsiderate and rude, especially to have to extent a flight that is normally just over an hour to become two and a half. When we landed, we were informed to see the gate agent who was there to meet the plane about our connecting gate and not to worry because most planes had been delayed that were in Detroit.

So I stopped to visit the gate agent and she was informing people whether their flight was still there or if they needed to proceed somewhere for rebooking. She told me my flight was still there and that my gate was the other side of the Northwest Terminal. So I jogged to catch my next plane. Maybe I should’ve ran, but it’s a long distance to go from one end of the terminal to the next- even with the new tram you put in. I get to the gate only to find out that the plane took off three minutes after my first flight had ended. Clearly the gate agent knew this and decided not to tell me. So winded, I missed the next connection. The next gate agent gave me my new connecting flights, this time instead of a direct leg from Detroit to San Francisco, I now have to go through Denver. After I paid for an increase to be sat in an exit row. I was told I could not get a refund for that money because it was due to weather and was not the fault of the airline. So I should learn from that (you’ll see later that I do not).

Then the flight from Detroit to Denver was equally horribly bad. We were delayed boarding the plane by almost two hours because the flight attendants did not show up on time. I’ve read recently how your employees are often having sick-outs and intentionally creating delays and it seems that this is the case for this flight. I figured by this time there would be no way to catch my connecting flight in Denver and god knows what would happen next. When we landed, again we were told to speak to the gate agent about connecting flights. When I exited the plane, knowing at most I had 10 minutes to connect, I asked very quickly where to find my United Airlines flight (an airline that I have no problem using again mind you) that Northwest booked me on. A stout woman with an unfriendly demeanor and a bad perm for her black hair got snippy, flippant, and sarcastic. Something I didn’t need, but I was in a rush and had no time to deal with it, so I ran (yes, this time I had to run). I made the flight right as they were closing the doors. Unfortunately, my luggage did not. There was not enough time for your airlines to get my airlines my luggage (and if that’s not how it works then I want to know exactly what happened to my luggage in the meantime and why it wasn’t there when I arrived). So, the entire day I had to wear the same clothes I was traveling in (And mind you I lost half a day in San Francisco due to these changes). The next day my luggage had still not arrived. I went out and bought a new outfit as it was cold and I needed something clean to wear. I also bought some toiletries. Yes, these are all things that I can wear/use again. However, I am on a budget and having to put down $80 for a new outfit is not within my plans and so now I have to find other things to scrimp on financially to make sure I stay within my budget. All thanks to Northwest Airlines.

I only prayed that this would be the end of it. But today, as I checked in for the first leg of my flight back (August 11, 2007) from San Francisco to Memphis, I was told that they rebooked me for a later flight. While I would normally not have any problems with this, there is a major flaw in this customer service. The rebooking had occurred before I got to the airport, which means that someone could’ve notified me which would have allowed me to sleep in today. Since flights from the west coast to the east coast are unbearably early, this sleep would’ve been nice. After being booked on the new flight, the ticket agent printed me one set of boarding passes, which was nice since I had again (without learning my lesson) paid the extra money for an exit row. This ticket had an exit row on it. Then she takes my tickets back saying they were done in error and gives me a seat further back and in the middle seat. Then I had to ask specifically about the money I spent on the seats and she begrudgingly refunded me the money. Is Northwest Airlines in the business of robbing their customers blind (other than the ridiculous prices you charge for everything but oxygen)? Apparently it is because they are willing to do pretty much anything to get $15 from me, a flight at a time. Hopefully my luggage will make it home with me this time, but again I doubt it.

I hope this letter has entertained you. I don’t expect you to change your ways because of it. And God forbid you send me another voucher because it will go straight to the trash. I will never ever fly your airline again and I hope that I can be persuasive enough to my friends and family to do the same.

San Fran- the good

2007-08-16T06:36:00.000-07:00

So last week I went to San Francisco. I had a great time with the exception of what will be in tomorrows post. I got to see Rhiannon and Christian in their new elements, which was fun. I walked around the entire city which was exhausting and felt as if no matter where you were going in that city its up hill both ways... but my calves and butt muscles appreciated the workout :)

Among the highlights: Coit Tower- seems like the tallest place in the city, but it has an incredible view

Ghiradelli Square: My favorite kind of chocolate and there is something extra special about buying it at its home :)

the Latin Guy on Market St.: As I was going to visit Rhiannon at a Peruvian Restaurant, I passed this beautiful latin guy on the street. He looked at me, I smiled at him, he got a huge smile on his face, there were a lot of stares. If only I wasn't on vacation...

the Go-Go Boys: I went to Full Frontal Fridays at Boy Bar in the Castro and partook in the watching of go-go boys dancing for dollars. There was one that took a particular liking to me and kept grabbing at me and forcing me to grab him. I guess there are worse things that you could be forced to do ;)

to JL

2007-08-15T05:49:00.000-07:00

To my readers: I promise over the next couple days I will post about my recent trip to San Francisco. Despite some pretty horrific airline stuff, I had a great time visiting some west coast friends. Today's post is one of those cathartic things where I get something off of my chest because I can't really say any of this to their face. So please excuse the venting:

To JL-

I guess I owe you somewhat of an apology. While I don't exactly support the fact that you are engaged after a month of dating someone, if you two last until the wedding, it would be an appropriate length of time that I support it. And since you are my friend and being engaged makes you happy, I should support you in that. For not being there as supportive as I should've been I apologize.

However, what really has been bothering me more than just the fact your engaged is how its shown me what our friendship really is and how pathetic our relationship seems. Its shown me that in your mind the only thing there is is you. Since your last breakup, all it has been about is every little aspect of your life, the breakup of a relationship you wanted to stay in, the slut/rebound phase, meeting a new guy (through me mind you), and settling down with him. In all that time, you rarely even inquire as to how I'm doing before jumping into the intricacies of your life. We used to have quite a few comments about my other best friend who did the same thing and you used to read the riot act about him doing it and now it just seems the same about you. I need my friendships to always be about us (me and the other person). We're both in the friendship and I need them to know when to let me say things, them to know when to ask and prod things out of me as I would expect them to have me to know the same. So far I don't see that from you and I haven't for quite some time. Maybe its symptomatic of our friendship from the beginning in which we stopped talking for a number of months until you needed something from me professionally and realized how crappy it is to ask for something from a "friend" when we weren't really friends. I don't want to get to the point where I really don't even enjoy being around you, but we're getting close to that point. I don't want to come to the point where we don't ever see each other or chat online, but we're kind of to that point anyways since you've started to ignore me again. I guess I was really only a place filler for you in between boyfriends. If that's the truth, then c'est la vie, but I won't be around for the next break.

Just some thoughts I had. Hopefully, JL's act and mine will become more enmeshed and we can work through this...

drunk texting

2007-08-06T12:02:00.000-07:00

I had a party on my rooftop Saturday afternoon, which meant I was tipsy way early and by 5 pm had engaged in drunk texting. That seemed like a good idea at the time. But turned out to be a very bad bad idea when I was sober. I decided to text waiter boy who was invited to said party, but I knew he was never going to show and about a week before hand texted me that he had to work.. big shock (input sarcasm). But when I got tipsy I started off with "I'm sorry you can't be here. hope work is fun." and ended with "your ex was stupid to break up with you." and "i heart you." The next morning when I found records of these i was like WTF did I just do???? And not like he was naked in the bed next to me, but I tipped around and tried to sneak out of my text messaging like they never happened until about 3 in the afternoon I got another text asking if i had fun last night... As Homer Simpson would say "D'OH!"

Evite

2007-08-02T08:13:00.001-07:00

One of my great loves is evites. I think its great to send out a party invitation and be on the pulse of who is coming and who is not and plan accordingly. But there's something to be said about people who respond "maybe" 2 days before a party. I totally understand responding "maybe" a month out and then when you know your schedule better going back with a yes or a no. But seriously, two days before a party, you don't know if you can make it. Just say no. You won't hurt anyone's feelings and its a little more respectful.

bait and switch

2007-07-26T08:50:00.000-07:00

So, as many of you know, I am on the job market. Its no secret as my supervisor knows and I apply for a lot of stuff in the hopes it comes through. Its become more important to find the job because they want to move my office to a satellite campus like 20 some miles away, which would not be a fun commute. In addition (as background to this story) they are opening up a one-stop shop, a place where financial aid, student accounts, and bursars will be in one location and allow students not have to go from place to place to get their financial issues dealt with.

Well, I applied for a position that was Assistant Director of this one-stop shop. It would've been a sizable increase in my salary grade and I'm assuming my salary would've as well. Well the newly appointed director called me and we had a phone interview on Tuesday and she subsequently emailed me to set up an in person interview where she referenced the term "Assistant Director" multiple times. So the next day I go to a training and they say in the training that there is no assistant director position, but that was a mistake and they only have these positions called Ambassadors, which are a ridiculous position that directs people what line to stand in. So I emailed her back and asked her about that and she responded with "I just found out that they weren't going to hire for that position." (what a lie) and that we should cancel our meeting the next day? (with a Question Mark!!!!!!!!!!!!!) So I responded that yes, we should cancel our meeting and good luck with the center.

But she clearly knew they didn't have that position available and they posted that position with no intention of hiring for it. They wanted me to go through the entire hiring process and then at the end switch the position on me. I am furious about it. This school has found more ways than I thought possible to leave a bad taste in my mouth.

What a great trip!

2007-07-24T07:49:00.000-07:00

So I have been traveling a lot this summer. The month of July brings me to New York City and Rehoboth Beach. I went up with a friend to NYC. Our trip starts with him going out to meet one of his college friends. So I tag along and its to a little straight bar with cheap martinis and a pool table. So I alternated in between watching pool players and chatting with the people I was with. At some point they go outside and the gay poolplayer boy was like "your making me nervous." in a flirtatious way. So we started talking. At some point, my friend and I went to dinner and on our way out, i gave the guy my card that said "I'm visiting for two days and would love to see you before i leave." So 5 minutes later he calls me and we set something up for the next day. However, after dinner, my friend wanted to crash so i went back to the bar and hung out with the guy for a couple hours. We seemed to get along quite well. I eventually left to meet up with my friend, but we decided to hang out the next night.

So the next night we go out on a date, get some drinks, he shows me his part of the city. Then we go back to his place, order some diner food and well you know... But let me say this: it was the best sex I've ever had. I usually don't have great experiences when it comes to sex, but this was by far a great and emotionally positive sexual experience.

And it took most of the night so i slept most of the way home on the train. Turned around and headed to the beach. I made a new friend in the group that was going so it was a good time. Read some Harry Potter. Drank a bit. Invented a new drink (which I am very excited about--- Pink Lemonade and Vodka and I call it a Dolly Madison.) But there was also drama at the beach.

Of course there is always a little awkwardness when you travel with a couple, but I felt that it got ridiculously out of control. When people feel the need to make out so much that you can't have a complete conversation with them, then it becomes prohibitive to good group dynamics and that was the start of it. An example, if you will- I was talking to one of them about the new Harry Potter and in the middle of the conversation, of me talking, they start making out, so i said "Oh, I thought I was talking, but I guess I wasn't." And I turned around and stopped communicating with them for a while. So I and another guy started to separate away from the group so we didn't have to deal with it, which only ticked off other people. But the couple, which at this point wasn't dating for a full month yet got engaged.....yes, you read that correctly, engaged.... with rings and everything, although as i understand it the rings didn't fit. How do you not tell people you are going on an engagement trip with that you plan to pop the question and How do you pop the question after less than a month together. It makes me question the seriousness of relationships and wanting to be in one. TO me, this behavior trivializes relationships altogether. But then I realize "wait, when people do this, i usually make fun of them... ALOT." But its my friend, so I'd feel guilty doing it... clearly, i'm conflicted by this.

But it didn't ruin the trip and I still very much enjoyed the beach and the sun and the splotchy burn I somehow got...

academic update

2007-07-16T12:04:00.000-07:00

Just a quick message to update you on an academic goal that is within reach now. I was accepted last week to present a research paper at the Association for the Study of Higher Education (ASHE). My paper will be on the differing aspects that scholarships impact on students when deciding on a college. Is it a financial edge? Is it the feel of recognition and honor? I guess we'll see.

Conference

2007-07-12T06:19:00.000-07:00

So my national conference has been this week and it has given me lots of stories for me to recount. I had a great time and learned a lot, so this post will be some of the highlights.

An awkward moment: On Tuesday afternoon I ran into three people from the research position that I didn't get due to being overqualified. And I wasn't in a position that I could've pretended I didn't see them or knew who they were. So I had to endure a 15 minute conversation with people who didn't hire me like 2 weeks ago. What is the correct protocol in that situation? Probably to say something like "I'm sorry I'm in a rush and unable to chat, it was good seeing you." But David said more of what I felt: "Be cordial, then key their car."

A moment of TMI: THis guy who worked the conference with me got way too personal on a discussion of what he did the night before. I ran into him at a bar and asked how the rest of his night was. He proceeded to tell me that on his walk home, he was propositioned for sex by a guy on the street, which he then had it in an alley way with. Then the guy told him it would be $100. HE didn't have the money, so the prostitute was going to call the police and have him arrested. (editor's note: Ummmm Wouldn't they just arrest the prostitute. And what proof would they have that the sex even occurred? Sex workers logic is entertaining)

A moment of exercise: I ran my second 5k through the conference. It was humid and hot, even at 6 am! I overexerted myself and thought I was going to pass out at one point. However, I shaved 3 minutes off my time from the last 5k and came in at 32:14. YAY!

A moment of self-confidence: DP met these guys from my conference at JRs. I met this guy who worked with a lender in one of those fly over states that people never vacation to. I introduced myself to him two days later and invited him and his crew out dancing with a few of us at Cobalt. We had a good time. I hung out with him that night with his coworkers, then invited him over to my place. And he came... So its like the first time in two/three years I was successful in a bar-scene hookup. He was a really nice guy, sort of resembled waiter guy, but without the game playing.
I do plan to stay in touch with him.

But this leads to a serious work question: For those that don't know, I work in financial aid, which has been in the news for inducements from lenders to financial aid counselors. In this stage, schools are overreacting and my school has asked that we disclose every thing we've ever gotten from a lender, such as a birthday gift from a friend of mine who works in a bank. etc etc. So do i need to write general counsel and say that a lender gave me an orgasm?

Health And Fitness

2007-06-30T10:18:00.000-07:00

I'm finally back to the gym as of yesterday. Surprisingly, I didn't gain weight on my vacation, but I know I lost muscle. So, while I am incredibly sore from weight lifting over the past couple of days, it feels great to be back in the swing of things.

Also, Joel Siegel from Good Morning America passed away last night from colon cancer. He was a very energetic man and always brought a smile to my morning tv watching as I got ready for work. Truly sad.

Also, my friend Lisa sent this information that I encourage my readers to read and sign the petition: here's a bill called the Breast Cancer Patient Protection Act (Senate 459/House of Representatives 758) which will require insurance companies to cover a minimum 48-hour hospital stay for patients undergoing a mastectomy. It's about eliminating the 'drive-through mastectomy' where women are forced to go home just a few hours after surgery, against the wishes of their doctor, still groggy from anesthesia and sometimes with drainage tubes still attached.

Lifetime Television has put this bill on their web page with a petition drive to show your support. Last year over half the House signed on. Sign the petition by clicking on the web site below. You need not give more than yourname and zip code number.

http://www.lifetimetv.com/breastcancer/petition/signpetition.php

Post- Vacation Let Down

2007-06-29T10:22:00.000-07:00

Its always rough coming back from Vacation, but this past Wednesday was a little ridiculous. There were the things I expected, calls from whiny families who want special treatment... the mountain (and yes I mean the mountain) of files that are in my cubicle. But then the bad news started.

I got a call from the department of education research position. They turned me down saying I was overqualified. Don't they realize what I do for a living and how it doesn't make me overqualified to clean up elephant crap at the zoo? I also don't understand it because if I am overqualified and i really want the job, shouldn't i get it and we can work past my over-qualifiedness of the position? Its also ironic because the entire process I thought I was so under-qualified I didn't have a chance. BUt that threw me into a bit of a depression that I'm still in. I now feel trapped and a big loser that out of four interviews last month alone not one thing bit. Am I that bad of an interviewer? Its like God is punishing me by forcing me to work in hell.

THen that night some friends and I went out for trivia night and then dancing. Then as I left I got a call that one of my best friends, who was dancing with us and only stayed out because he was being my wing man with the boys was mugged on the way home. I got the call as I was walking to my apartment and turned right around and headed to the hospital. I got there thanks to a speedy cab and he was a bloody mess. His face didn't look too bad, a little swollen, but not too bad. They got him in relatively shortly and it turns out he has a broken nose and a bruised cheek bone. He's shaken up (understandably), but he's ok. They didn't get anything. Apparently two guys just started punching him without asking for anything or saying anything. He ran and got home where his roomate took him to the emergency room. IT happened at 15th and Q. WTF?!??!!??! That's supposed to be a safe neighborhood. Its more my area than his based on where we live. So on top of the guilt that I feel for making him stay out late, I now am jumpy and feel unsafe.

Definitely not the back from vacation experience I wanted.

Sea-Por III

2007-06-24T10:56:00.000-07:00

mike and I seemed to bust out on happening establishments as we walked around the city last night, so in lieu of that a story from the previous night I forgot to mention. We were leaving Silverados (the full nude strip bar) and it was an interesting thing to see outside as there were all these young gay hustlers. The joke has always been that any movie about young gay runaways or hustlers always end up in one of two places Toronto, or Portland. How true it was. Well we were walking to another bar and this guy had a sign on him that said "Give me verbal insults 4 for a Dollar." Well that upset me, so I went back and gave him a 5 and gave him something inspirational like "you can achieve anything you want." Mike also gave him a dollar but didn't verbally insult him. Portland is unlike other cities I've been to. What an interesting gay culture.

Back to Seattle tonight.

Sea-Por II

2007-06-23T18:18:00.000-07:00

So I am currently in Portland visiting friends on the west coast. The train ride down was very nice. It was quiet and the ability to see some nature was nice. Last night there was quite amount of drinking. Starting with Mike and some of his friends at the Brazen Bean, a martini bar that had a relatively cheap martini special. Let me recommend the butterscotch martini for anyone that has a chance to have one. mmm mmm good. Then we went to 3 degrees, where Andrew (a student I am friendly with) and he came out with us to Silverados and some other bar that was a dance club. Had a good time, but did go home alone. One guy that was interested just was too drunk to go home with, so I let his friends make sure he gets home ok.

Today I had lunch with Lena and Sarah, who I havent seen in a very very long time. It was nice having dinner with them. They look good and seem to be acclamating to the city well. But it seems as if they are very stereotypically lesbians, such as they both work in eco-friendly non-profits, they live in a commune type facility, etc etc. If they had told me they just bought stock in Home Depot, I wouldn't have been surprised ;)

On the way home, Mike and I were half a block from his house. Upon passing a middle- aged black woman, who said "He's soo tall." We kept walking and didn't mention the comment. As we hit the corner,she turned around and very loudly said excuse me and came over to talk to him. She asked where he was from and when he said New York City, she was like, Oh, so you've seen a black person before? He replied yes, but not in Oregon. haha Then she persuaded to ask where he went out and hung out. Where he did work, what libraries he went to. She then said how could she get his phone number so that she can get ahold of him. He very diplomatically said that he wasn't giving out his phone number or dating right now, but she was undeterred and said that she'd get him eventually and she was not giving up. Hey, its better than the guys who thought he was gay and that we owned a dog together the other day.

On a side note: Ruthie bought a vespa the other day. He asked me a while back whether he should get a new or used one. He started it derogatorily saying he knew what my answer would be, but asked if I thought he should get a used or new one. I asked him what he wanted to hear, because it was clear he didn't want my actual advice but just wanted me to rubber stamp him. Of course, as my readers should be aware, i did not bend to his will and told him to buy a used one just to make sure it was a good investment. As of yesterday, he texted and said he bought a new one. Its his life and yes he can afford it, but I think this is a step where I need to wash my hands helping him with fiscal decisions. I don't do it just for the fun of him not listening to me.

Sea-Por I

2007-06-22T07:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I left for a trip to Seattle and Portland on vacation. Lots to write before I go out for day two.

My flights were fine. I flew from DC to Memphis and then got a transfer to Seattle. On the transfer flight, there was much drama. This old lawyer guy sat next to me and as I sat down decided to start telling me how the guy in the row in front of us was acting weird and he thought that the guy might have been a terrorist. I looked at the guy and to some extent the guy was acting weird, but it seemed more like the guy had a child mentality and never flown before and he was excited by it. So the guy keeps going on telling me to look at the guy. ANd you know on an airplane everyone can hear your conversation, so i'm sure this guy heard it too. Then at some point, I looked over and the lawyer guy was writing a note to the stewardess about it. I was like "Oh no! You are not disrupting this flight on my vacation. I will throw you out over Wyoming if that happens." He never gave the note to the stewardess, but still so very dramatic.

Got to Seattle and my hotel is sooooo awesome. It is called Hotel Max and has an art theme throughout it, so i have an original painting in my room and there are blown up photographs for all the doors. If you are ever in Seattle it is so worth staying at.

I started the day by looking around at thrift stores. Didn't find much in the lines of things to buy, but I ran into like three gay bars. I didn't realize I was so close tot he gay district. Yay for fate. Then I went to the Space Needle, which was interesting and I took a lot of pictures from there. Then I walked to the famous Pike's Market, which had virtually everything closed by the time I got there, so I will try going there again, but what's up with the cruising that goes on in this city. I've been checked out a hell of a lot and when I went to use the restroom at the market, some Asian guy decided to show me his junk and proposition me. Ummm not in public guy, not in public.

I wanted to go out last night, but took a nap and then didnt wake up til this morning. Oops. So when I get back from POrtland I will have to hit the town.

realizations

2007-06-19T05:48:00.000-07:00

Here are some realizations I had in the past couple of days. (ok since yesterday's post).

-My friends may all be the center of the attention, but I am the center of the group and without me the group falls apart.

-No matter how dirty, raunchy, or sexual a picture is, if you do it in black and white, its artistic.

-If you keep putting off going home with the old Asian guy, who happens to be the only guy in the bar hitting on you, he will eventually go home with someone closer to his own age.

-This may be a good thing.

-This may be a bad thing.

its all about me

2007-06-18T13:51:00.001-07:00

Let me start by saying I understand the irony that someone with a blog is making this argument, but i will defend myself later on.

I've come to a conclusion about one of my big frustrations with the gay community. Its always got to be about you. There are so many attention whores out there that I just can't deal with it anymore. All but a very few number of gay men I know have to always be the center of attention. I wonder why I don't get noticed at the bars and I think this is exactly why. I don't make it about ME ME ME. And I'm frustrated that all my friends do that. Why can't I hang out with guys who can at least halve the attention time with other people in the group. What is it that makes these guys need to have every eye focused on them. These are the same guys who will tell you something as a friend and make promises to you, when really all they want is for you to be enamored with them. They don't want equals in their friends, they want people who want to be like them.

So where am I going wrong in meeting these guys? Am I doomed to always have these types as my friend as long as I have gay friends? Or is it more pervasive than I think and this occurs with straight men, straight women, lesbians, bisexuals, transsexuals, everybody on Earth.

Now, I know that I have a blog, which is inherently a medium where I make it all about me me me. Fine. But I put it out there and people can read it or not. This is more like my journal/diary and its me having me me me time with myself. Yeah, some friends read it, but they don't have to and I'm not forcing them to, like I would if I were hanging out at bars and forcing the same conversation topics about me and boys and me and me and some more of me. In fact, I rarely talk about me when I'm out with my friends (but this may be because I can't get a word in edgewise) ;)

Thank God my vacation is coming up!

vacation

2007-06-18T10:29:00.000-07:00

I am excited to report that I will be leaving later this week to see Seattle and Portland! I am quite excited to see the Pacific Northwest. Have any of you gone before (other than the people I will see when I'm out there). Any recommendations for things for me to do or see?

update

2007-06-09T13:39:00.000-07:00

It has been hectic at work lately, so that is my excuse for the lapse of postings this past week. There is quite a bit to discuss though.

I have become something of an interview whore. In the past month I've interviewed for four separate positions. On Tuesday, I went to this hearing that my Thursday interview put on. THey are a research org under the department of education. So I went to suck up and meet people that I had previously phone interviewed with. It was an interesting experience. But I found out this relatively big name in research (which I define as anyone i've ever heard of before) was also up for the position, so for two days I was like I don't have a chance, I should just withdraw my name now.

Later that night, while drinking Margaritas with DP, I got a call from another job wanting to interview me. So if nothing else, I had another possibility of a new job.

So on Thursday I go for the interview with a mentality of they'll get the best I can do and call it a day. WEll it turns out the interview went really well. I got along with them all great and I think they are looking more for a matching personality than the research experience. They asked for additional references when I left as well. But the executive director was hilarious. I had been warned that he was a character and known to use curse words.. THen he started dropping the f-bomb and s-bomb. It was hysterical. He even mentioned if they hired me they would help me with my dissertation... So we'll see. Next interview: Tuesday with UMCP.

Boy update: Well I get a call from waiter boy on Tuesday night. And he asks if I wanted to come out and i was already in bed so i said no. But then he said he thought he had broken up with. I asked why he thought that and he said that when he calls his boyfriend the phone message says the phone is not accepting calls. I was like its probably just a phone problem that will be fixed in a few days. Waiterboy doesnt accept that as an excuse and continues to protest. and i say it seems a bit extreme to break up with someone by cancelling their phone service or blocking a number. He really would owe you a discussion about the break up. But he continued on by saying that the relationship had hit a plateau anyways... to which i decided this was a conversation to gauge my interest in him currently. After all, a week before I told him i actually remembered our first night and everything i said to him.. like I'm completely interested in him.. etc etc and that i only pretended not too because i was fishing for information (i'm still under the belief that alcohol doesn't make us lie, even if it makes us say stuff we arent wanting to say). So he says that the bf hasnt contacted him since then, but it still seems odd... I wonder if he should be worried that his bf has disappeared. Why didnt that cross his mind? But we'll see.

Happy Pride everyone!

post 5k

2007-06-04T05:49:00.000-07:00

So Saturday was my 5k. It was a huge event and the Susan G. Komen race for the cure collected more than 2.5 million dollars. Thank you to all who participated or donated money to the cause.

As far as my running, I felt very pleased with myself. I was able to run the entire time without needing a break to catch my breath. Technically my time was something like 38 minutes, but I blame that on how long we had to walk before there was enough room to run. In truth, I should've been able to do it in under 30 minutes. I probably could've run more than the 3.1 miles as well.

I also noticed that I got angry with people who didn't seem to take the race seriously and did absolutely no training. If you walked in the first mile, you should've done the walking race. Simple as that :) No one would've judged you poorly for doing that and you still would've helped the cause.

Sunday I decided to break from the gym and my legs thank me. Next race is the Nelnet 5k race for education. Very exciting!

My first 5k

2007-05-29T12:32:00.000-07:00

So, many of you know that I am becoming increasingly interested in physical fitness. One of my goals this year was to start becoming active in some sort of athletic venture , other than the gym. So this Saturday I will be participating in my first 5k. I'm not that great of a runner, so I don't expect an incredibly great score, but just by completing it, I will have done something good for myself.

On the other hand, it is also for a good cause. I am jogging in the Susan G. Komens Race for the Cure, an organization dedicated to fight breast cancer. This has affected my family and many families out there, so I encourage you to donate to their charity. You can do so by going to this donation page. Even if you do not donate, you should still go learn about breast cancer by taking the awareness quiz on the left hand side.

(side note: to keep this at the top of my blog until the event happens, I will save up my stories for next week.)

A theological question for my readers...

2007-05-23T13:48:00.001-07:00

Let me start by asking this in a more abstract way before I go into my petty example. But to my readers I ask this (and it may be an assumption of believing in God to answer this, otherwise just give me your thoughts).

1. Does God play an active role in our lives from day to day? Does he/she forge a path for us and want us to follow it giving us answers to our prayers that we are supposed to figure out?

2. If so, are these paths or answered prayers easy to see and understand? Or are they among the hardest things to figure out in our lives, what God wants us to do? If we make the wrong decision, wouldn't it make God less likely to help us in the future?

Now my example: In the most ridiculous and self-indulgent prayers (and I'm sure I'm not alone in this prayer) but I asked for a boyfriend, or a way to deal with a persistent feeling of loneliness (also don't get me wrong- I kind of don't want to date right now as I am enjoying my singleness- but that is another post). So there is a person who would very much want to date me, I'm just not really that interested in this person. Am I disregarding God's answer to my prayer? There are plenty of stories in the Bible about how someone planned to do something they didn't really want to do because it was God's wish and in the end it turned out to be the exact right thing to do and it enhanced their happiness beyond all measure. So how does one determine what God's path is versus settling because its easier?

Sorry for the religiosity of this post.

horoscope

2007-05-18T07:38:00.000-07:00

The Onion posts my horoscope today. This may very well be the most accurate horoscope I've ever gotten. It reads:

You'll cry because you have no shoes until you see a man who has no shame stretching out his anus to the size of a soup bowl and putting pictures of it on the internet.

Interviews

2007-05-18T07:30:00.000-07:00

So on Tuesday, I had a very good professional day and it really jumped my self-esteem up a bit. I got two phone calls to set up interviews. One was a second interview for the Advisory Committee of Student Financial aid. It would be a second interview and I totally thought I blew the first interview. Well apparently not and they are having me come in June for a longer interview to meet the office and do a presentation. Exciting.

But the bigger one is I am one of four finalists to be Special Assistant to the President of my university. I had my interview with the head of HR yesterday for that. It was a very nice conversation and I think I made a good impression with him. He did admit to what I already knew, that I was a darkhorse candidate, but still, its an honor to come this far. But it pays more than I ever imagined I'd make. If i got it, drinks would be on me for virtually forever.

So keep your fingers crossed for me.

Another one bites the dust

2007-05-16T05:32:00.000-07:00

AS I am sure you are already aware, Jerry Falwell has passed away. Or to put it in his terms, Lucifer has called him back to hell. Good riddance Jerry! You really became a buffoon in your later years, blaming the pagans, abortionists, and gays for 9-11. And then taking your crusade against television characters such as Tinky Winky was rididuclously funny. In truth, there is only one way to celebrate your life this week.... lots and lots of gay sex. So I will do my part, I hope my readers will do theirs as well.

On a side note: there is something truly interesting that occurs when a hated individual dies. WHen a famous person passes, there is usually an air of sadness, or at least respect of silence about the matter. But, last night, everyone I knew celebrated and toasted Falwell's passing. I don't blame these people and I participated in these toasts. Its just weird how people react when someone they loathe dies.