out of the blue, an ex.

So last Friday I took the day off because I was "sick" and did school work all day. I got a lot accomplished but early afternoon, I got a random email on one of those networking sites from my last ex, Nathan.

Nathan and I dated 8 yrs and 50 pounds ago. Apparently he moved here about 6 months ago, but saw me the other day in a bar, but wasn't quite sure it was me. But he came across my profile, or searched my profile out (not sure which one it was) and emailed me and wanted to hang out and catch up on old times. So we planned to do that on Saturday night.

So Saturday night occurs. His friends and my friends meet at JRs. Where else would we go? Apparently some of his friends already knew some of my friends. So we hung out and chatted for the night. It was great to see him. While we ended on such bad terms, what a difference 8 years makes. He looks good and seems to be doing fine, although he did gain weight (evil grin), but not really that much. He did tell me that I look amazing (what 50 lbs does to someone) and that I'm doing really well. I enjoyed catching up with him and hope to hang out with him again.

Another interesting observation was that he referred to me as his ex all night long. While I'm sure most people in that situation would've been annoyed by it, I actually enjoyed it. I hate when my ex's (no matter how close we've become) call me their friend when introducing me to other people. I feel that it displaces and minimizes the closeness we once shared. So he called me his ex and I was pleased by that. I think I enjoy knowing that people aren't ashamed to having dated me.

The people I've told the story always ask me if there is the rekindling of a romance occurring and I'm curious about that. Am I saying stuff to make people think that I'm interested? Is an ex contacting you to get back in touch always meant as an I'm interested again? Do the people I'm telling this story to just think that its easy to fall back into a relationship because you were so close? Do my friends just want drama?

But.... (and there's always a but) I have questions. In part, in my inability to trust people, I'm always looking for the ulterior motive. Why did he want to catch up? Plan a time to meet up, rather than just saying hi in passing in a bar? What are most people's reactions when an ex wants to see you again? Does it mean he's interested in rekindling something? Does he want a try at friendship that was never there? Would I be willing to give such a chance?

And then there's the over-analysis on my part. Do I have a little crush in development? Am I just afraid of rejection (still after all the progress I've made with myself)?