withdrawal

So I realize why I haven't been posting much lately. When I get depressed, I withdraw into myself and try to avoid most contact with the outside world. For instance, I didn't go to any bars this past weekend, instead opting for some personal time with myself and watching television.

I haven't posted on here because I don't want to have to analyze how my life is going because it only upsets me further to have to consider how my life is not the way I want it going. Granted, its not as bad as it was 2 months ago, but its not where I want it to be.

I also have had this increasing desire to date a guy lately rather than the meaningless sex I am used to getting. Don't get me wrong, I love meaningless sex. For a while I couldn't figure out why then my friend Christopher figured it out for me. As other areas of my life are out of whack and unstable, I look to relationships to try and stable my life. Unfortunately, I haven't had much luck. And it just shows the instability of that aspect of my life all the more.

Hopefully very soon, all of this will begin to right itself and I will have a lot more stability in my life. Will keep you all updated