LAst Stretch

The trip is almost over... thank god for that.

So I was wasting time in gay.com, a trashy chat room and it really had me question the reality of the homos out there in the world. This one guy, screen name : beyourguy has been hounding me for days to hook up with him. I politiely say i'm not interested (he's in his 30's with no picture- i've learned that means stay away). So today he asked what I'm doing for New Years. I respond going to the Parliament House ( a local gay club) with a friend. He then proceeds to bring up me and my friend hooking up.... and I was like no, we're not that type of friends. He then continues saying he wants to meet my friend. I respond: he's not a hookup type of guy. His response: I want to meet him to be a boyfriend. Hmmm yes, I clearly think that I would introduce a close friend with an internet psycho who won't leave me alone about having sex with him. I think i might pass on that one. Then he keeps on going on about how I shouldn't tell my friend about he and I hooking up (which i wonder why he doesn't understand no), but i use this as my excuse to get out... I think i have to tell my friend about us.... his response: why? is he going to be ok with us hooking up? me: no (thinking: when i'm not ok with us hooking up then i think he is not ok with that).

This leaves me speechless

More from the South

So the last couple days have been complete wastes. Whenever I have free time where I am not visiting people down here, I feel as if it is a waste, as I could be back at home doing important things like setting up dates and enjoying myself. So I've felt way too constrained as of late down here.

Tonight was one of the nights that my father forced me to have dinner with him... the infamous spaghetti night. Its actually really good, my grandmother makes some really good spaghetti that I don't have nearly enough of. But at the dinner table i only had one helping and of course that makes my father take affront to it and be like "what you don't like it???" So I said "just because i only have one serving size doesn't mean I don't like something." and he's all like you can start your diet tomorrow... what the fuck??? Just because I don't want to be as fat as him doesn't mean anything.... ridiculous.

I do think I am getting out of chop suey night. My father wanted my grandmother to make that while i was here. Apparently this is another family renowned dish, despite the fact that as a 25 year old member of this family, I have never actually eaten chop suey. But in the course of having dinner with Rhiannon and her family at Houlihan's, Rhiannon asked a very astute question: "Scott, you're family is Polish and from Southern Michigan, how is spaghetti and chop suey your family dishes." Beats the hell out of me, but it is a good question.

So the stress of actually being around my family, sent me to find a trick tonight. So that took a whole five minutes out of my day as well. I look forward to the end of this vacation and the hope that there will be drinking Tuesday night... Sponsler???????

Florida:Don't drink the punch!

Yesterday was a slow paced day, as is today. I should really be working on school things, but god knows I need a break. I went to the Enzian (www.enzian.org) and saw Blazing Saddles. Mel Brooks is a comedic genius. And then I drove around downtown Orlando trying to find drinks at midnight on a Tuesday night. I didn't think it would be that hard, but it apparently is. We finally found a wine bar near Lake Eola, which was quaint.. very yuppy and trendy.

So, my father has officially gone crazy. I think he is on the verge of joining a militia in Idaho and planning a mass suicide. He sends me this website that he thinks I will love. http://johntitor.strategicbrains.com Its a story about a time traveler who predicts civil war and nuclear attacks in the next 3-4 decades. Ummm, when did my father become crazy... granted he's always been on the border of schitzo in my opinion but this is a bit much. It doesn't make me feel that mental diseases run in my family now...

I am about to go ballistic on Cingular Wireless. This entire trip my phone has not been working. It is seriously pissing me off. At least I have my old phone still so that I can call people, but I am infuriated that my phone doesn't seem to work in Orlando. I went into a Cingular store and said my phone won't work in your store, either there's something wrong with it, or you have to work on your sales pitch. But I called the 1800 number to get it fixed and it was fixed for about 24 hours and now its broken again. I dont feel like calling them again. Maybe tomorrow? It better work flawlessly when i get back to DC, otherwise I am going to bitchslap a couple people.

Is it over yet? Days IV and V

Yesterday was Christmas. Thank god the holidays are over. But what an ordeal. I was to go visit our old neighbors, a very conservative family that I used to go to Church with back in my Christian days. And at the last minute my father decides to go with me and be social. That's a firt. THe entire drive over there he kept bitching about my grandmoter this and my grandmother that. Its the holidays and the only thing he can do is complain about his family. If i ever turn out like that (with the exception of a witty blog entry), someone please shoot me. So we do that and then come back and have a later dinner. Clearly this holiday I have put my time in with the warden, err i mean family.

That night I escape to Ormond Beach, where my friend Scott's mother lives. She's an uber-successful lawyer and she's always pushing me to law school, but is an incredibly supportive mother and I really do get along with her. She conned me into coming back to go to an artshow that she has work in, her first. So the first weekend of February, I will be back in florida for an art show.

Yesterday I made an early escape for a lunch date with Garry. Where to begin about our relationship. We sort of dated back in the day, but he is a big fan of the mind game, so much so that when I confront him on it all, he revises history and denies whole events occuring. But for some reason, I give him more opportunities. About three years ago I came back and he sort of cheated on his boyfriend with me, which makes me a homewrecker except they are still together, but yes, i should have had more moral qualms about it. But what's said and done, can't be unsaid or undone, right? So we were supposed to have lunch yesterday and like clockwork he cancels on me and tells me some other possibilities he has. I think I am going to just not call him back, nor hang out with him. I can't keep jumping to his commands.

Then my phone decides to stop work for absolutely no reason. Still don't know what's wrong with it, but today it is working to some extent. I will give it another day and if it doesn't work, I am going to call and do some serious screaming.

Last night had dinner with the Townes, but that was relatively uneventful.

Then I hung out with Ryan, who insisted I invite TR over, in the hopes of either me getting him drunk and taking advantage of him, or getting him to admit he was gay. Either way. I think we made serious progress with the second part. THe entire time he kept asking gay questions, like he was looking for answers. Tonight I am having dinner alone with TR at a fancy French restaurant, so maybe I will get to make out with him then.

Jesus Christ- Florida Vacation Day THree

I write this as the friggin family is driving me crazy. Thank god the holidays only happen once a year. Seriously... but let's start at the day's beginning.

I went and saw SHaun this morning. Got to spend a few hours with him. He seems to be doing better, but I think that he will always be mentally retarded for the rest of his life. While until recently I had hoped for an outright recovery, I no longer think it will be that. I now view it like the SAT's. Where the first few questions get you to a certain level and then after that each correct or incorrect answer only marginally affects things. That's how I view his situation. He'll make it to a certain level then it will be marginal. This bothers me a lot, because he was the one person I told him all of my deep dark secrets and I miss having that. Although Sponsler is quickly coming close to that.

Then I came home and did the family thing. Jesus.... I went to my car to get a bottle of wine. I need to be drunk to get through this holiday. Clearly, alcoholism begins with the holidays. I get home early so that we can open our presents, a family tradition. ANd my father had gone to church, surely a sign of the apocalypse. And they come home three hours later because they didn't know the time of the service and was an hour early. And my grandmother, who has serious illnesses cooked them dinner despite not feeling well all day because my father and the Belorussian (his mail order wife) ate out since they were early for the God worshippin'. WHich upset her and of course I take my grandmas side in everything. This caused me to go out to my car and get me a bottle of wine because the beer just didn't have enough alcohol in it. Then my father starts screaming (as he doesn't understand the tone of his voice) at his wife and my grandma and I just couldn't take it so i start yelling at him to shut up. Time for the second glass. THen we open presents. I got osme candy, cologne samples from my step-brother and a check from my father. Then he tells me he doesn't have enough money in his checking account to cover it. Glass three. This causes me and my grandmother to have a conversation about my father's finances and how he is living outside his means. THis explains why 1. my step-mother works two jobs and 2. my grandmother is being charged rent. Why am I the only individual in my family who understands basic finances. Despite how my father talks down to me about things like getting better paying jobs and the such, clearly he is not the shining example of personal finance that Suze Orman is.

We also do some internet stalking (me and my grandmother that is). And I am truly proficient in my skills as I finally locate my estranged sister, who i've been looking for for over a year. Apparently since we last spoke (which was two years ago) she has gotten divorced as her husband cheated on her (glass four). And she had another child. I apparently have three nephews. I only knew about two and have met neither. I feel really bad for her to be honest. Try to pour glass four... what? no more wine!!!!! I guess that is what happens when you drink glasses of wine in water glasses and not wine glasses.

And all of this really brings the important question that we all ask ourselves to put ourselves in context with a higher power: Do I really have to eat dinner with these people tomorrow? and Is there no excuse good enough to get me out of it? (what if i cut off a finger????)

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good Hanukah.

Florida Holidays Day II

So, it could only happen to me and it could only happen in Florida. I have lunch yesterday at a Boston Market on COlonial on the way to try and visit old acquantainces. So I'm standing in line, when this whorish looking girl comes up to me. SHe clearly had to be a stripper or a prostitute with how she was dressed, but she asked if I knew anything about cars, which I don't. I told her as such and she got pouty saying that the last person she asked didn't know either. (Maybe she should stop asking gay guys about how to fix cars). So I asked what she was trying to do. She said she was just trying to check the water levels and the oil. So I said ok, I could probably do that. So, as we were walking out to her car, rather than me eating a quarter white with two sides, I figured I would be robbed, or this was the beginning of a porn scene.. (I hear the cheesy music made in the 70's). So i start looking under her hood..... her CARS' hood. And I look up and she has her shirt open and i see her in her bra. Clearly she picked the wrong guy for this type of hookup. So I told her what I think she needed to do and went back inside. I watched from outside and within 5 minutes she had another guy looking under her hood.

Then I spent most of the day hunting down people I haven't seen in years. I left a lot of notes and Christmas cards on doorsteps, but that was about it. THen last night, I went to Southern Nights, the traditional gay bar in Orlando with Rhiannon and Mike (who has put on a bit of weight). It always makes me feel good when that happens to skinnier people than I. But it was dead. I have no idea where everyone was. I expected that since it was a Friday night and a holiday weekend that place would have been hopping, but it was dead!!!!! Poor gay culture of Orlando. Ahh this must be one of the reasons I moved away.

Florida Reunion 2005- Day 1

So I'm back on the home turf in the Sunshine State, by which they mean "fake tans, rains every day during the summer, and people get electrocuted alot" state. And I figured this would be a good place to start a personal blog, separate from my political one. So day one in Florida was fine til I hit I-4, the worst friggin' road ever. So these two cars in front of me clearly are being driven by fucktards (the new word for 2006). At one point a bottle of soda comes flying out of this minivan and then both cars stop and start to drive into each other.... SCRRREEEECH I didn't know my tires could make as much smoke as that. I know I'm a flaming queen, but not that bad. ANd my expertise behind the wheel... that's behind the wheel, not in the backseat, saved me from crashing a valuable new car that belongs to AVIS. Well that expertise, a turn to the left, a prayer to a God I only believe in sometimes, and a lot of tire smoke.

I get home and Dave (the father) tells me that not only do i have to have dinner with him on Christmas and one other time he requested, he's making me have dinner with him twice other times. He's running my grandmother ragged to cook all these meals. Its not like hes doing it. Its like he knows about the bathhouse that I visit while I'm in town...hmmm. wonder who tipped him off?

I got to see Rhiannon today as well. She's like my best friend from High School that moved to DC/Baltimore area with me and then disappeared. I completely understand why and all that, but it was good to reconnect with an old friend and be like it was where we last took off. But we did get into the whole who else have we been in contact with... nothing exciting, but she was in touch with Betsinger (first boyfriend). RIght before she moved to CA, she sold him furniture. And even though, I can find anything else out about him that I want being that I'm on myspace and friendster and have become a black belt of internet stalking, he apparently asked about me. This makes me happy! For two reasons: 1. It clearly means I'm on his mind and he can't stop thinking about the mistake it was to break my heart 10 years ago and he yearns for us to get back together in a passionate reunion (well maybe not as passionate as the dream I had about SPonsler the other night) and we settle down and have a loving committed relationship in a small house with two adopted kids and a white picket fence... ok you're right, even i don't buy that!!!! 2. I like when I hear people ask about me. It does mean they care enough to remember my name and how I am doing.

THen I come home from RHiannon's house and I swear I can hear Dave (father again) having sex with his mail order Belorussian bride.... ewwwwww. If i weren't already a flaming mo, i'd be one now. Geez. Grosest sound ever. I don't think I could go to the bathhouse now if i tried.

Day two is approaching fast.