birthday memories

So the big party of the year for my birthday occured Saturday night at Halo. I had a damned good time and here are some of the drama highlights.

1. Archie's new boyfriend- I feel bad for Archie. He ends up proving the stereotypes correct about gay asian guys... (wait, not that one, or at least not to my knowledge) I am referring to the infatuation that fat, old, white guys have towards Asian boys. So we notice this creepy looking guy at the railing staring at the group of people I am at. He looks like the BTK killer. Then we notice how he is checking out Archie and the second there is a space next to Archie on the couch, he moves in. Archie leans forward, BTK stares him down all the way to his ass. Then he moves in for the kill and starts a conversation. Archie ends up telling him that he has a girlfriend, which in retrospect now that I am sober, I can't believe he believed was true. He bought Archie a beer and Archie almost started drinking it, then i asked "what are you doing??????" He said what? I repled "you don't know where that's been or what he put in it. Just walk around with it, act like you drank it and leave it somewhere." Poor Archie could've been tied up by the guy.

2. Michael Moore- not the filmaker. So sometimes things happen and then you try to forget they ever happened and you assume that there is no reason to ever bring them up and just assume that anyone who knew is on the same page. Such is the case when you give someone your phone number and they never call. You just move on and ignore it ever happened. Michael Moore is such a case for me. I don't really know him that well, but I ran into him when I was downstairs roaming around the bar and told him we were all upstairs. Then at the end of the night he's talking to Brian and Keri andI hear him bring up receiving my number out of the blue. I about spit out my drink and start choking on my screwdriver....Then the whole story comes out. It was a classic comedy moment. It really was.

3. Mr. King- A story comes through the grapevine that Mr. King and his Fredericksberg boyfriend has broken up and that Mr King is back in DC and looking for a roomate. BUt he apparently doesn't want me to know because in Kingland I am apparently in love with him and would want to move in with him in a heartbeat. Hmmmmmm I feel like this is a subject of a b-list comedy. Let's go over the reasons why I'm not in love with Mr. King. 1. He's 40, which puts him just slightly closer to my father's age than mine. I also have an aversion to the number 40, the 30's i could handle, but not 40. 2. I love living alone. I can be messy, I can be neat, I can not make my bed for weeks, I can watch porn all the time, i can trick to my heart's delight. Why would I want to ruin that? 3. If i were interested in starting a relationship with anyone, I wouldn't start by moving in with them as that is too much pressure too quickly. And 4. he's 40. So Mr. King, keep on dreaming, but I plan on pursuing other, younger individuals.

But all in all it was a great birthday, the best I've had so far!

expectations

So this birthday has given me pause to reflect on my friends and the expectations I have for them. I usually do have some expectations for my friends, you know like they treat me with respect and friendliness, they are there for me when I need them, etc. However, I've also been coming to grips with the realities of those expectations, mainly if you have expectations, you will generally be disappointed. So I think one of my personal goals will be to limit the expectations I have on my friends. This comes out of who remembered my birthday this year and who didn't. I had one friend who completely didn't remember my birthday despite me giving him every clue I could, including inviting him to a birthday party. I thought about it and realized that while I might be a little upset over it, I don't plan on not being his friend, or stop talking to him. The caveat, however, is that I think he's mad at me now.... which seems wrong, as he was the one who forgot. Oh well, It just takes the pressure off of me to remember his.

busted

So I like to think I'm all suave and that I can be discrete, but let's be honest. That statement has no truth to it. Its like when Shaniel tries to whisper to me and I speak in a loud voice for the whole office to hear. So Rahsaan and I went to Halo last night... something about a bartender and a party. There didn't seem to be a harness involved so I sort of faded in and out of the conversation. BUt the night taught me twice that I am not suave and discrete.

Moment one: We arrive and I see Bernie and Chris and Brian and I go over and say hi and Bernis busts out with one of my dirty little secrets that I know I haven't mentioned to someone since the whole Shaun episode almost a year ago. My mouth dropped open and I tried to find out what the info was and apparently its something thats not entirely true, but I was drunk one night and sang like a little bird.

Moment two: In between rounds of us playing Anthony's gay bar game: date him, kill him, or screw him, we were deciding who the few attractive men at the bar were. So finally this guy comes up and stands next to Rahsaan at the bar, so i motion with my eyes at the guys back and ask European or Latin American as the background. Rahsaan says European and I make a few inappropriate remarks about taking him home with me. Then he turns and says "23." And we were like "what? what's 23?" He said to Rahsaan "Didn't your friend just ask how old you thought I was?" To which we replied " no, we asked if we thought you were European or Latin American." We were wrong, he was latin american, but still that means he heard enough to involve himself in the conversation.

Tact 0, Embarrassment 2

Location: 17th St. just north of P St., heart of Dupont Circle

Time:330ish pm

Phone call placed to one Charles Arris from one Scott Filter.

Message: Bitch! I know you didn't just pull out your phone, see it was me calling you, press the ignore button, and put your phone away. That's right I saw you and your boyfriend walking down the street. Don't think I ain't gonna call you out about this.

IM conversation

Just a quick IM conversation for fun:



ScottyboiF: i think my new years resolution should be to be a bigger bitch to people
ScottyboiF: is it too late to add that in?
dwoodworthcard: I'm not sure it's possible for you to be a bigger bitch

estrangement

For those of you who I know personally (I say that like my blog has an actual following). I don't talk about my family much. Well, today I found my sister again on myspace and I decided that I would finally suck it up and email her. Don't know what will come of it, but we'll see. Her profile had one interesting line:

"I'm not girly. I don't watch Lifetime."

That means only one thing: My sister and I have absolutely nothing in common. At least my parents got one son out of this.... just not the biological boy. Maybe I should send my sister episodes of the GOlden Girls or Will and Grace... that should draw her into Lifetime: Television for Women and Gay Men.

another one bites the dust

In true form with my crushes, another one comes to an end. My cycle of 3-4 weeks and then I move on has come again. I made an attempt with my last crush Andriano (since its over, I don't feel bad referring to him by last name now). LAte Friday afternoon, I sent an email asking him to the movies, which came across a bit more like a date than I had intended, but oh well, what are you going to do. To be honest, I didn't actually expect a response. One of my defense mechanisms for him was to send the email so late that he might not even get it until the following Tuesday when work started again.

Sunday night I get a response back that said:

"Sorry I didn't get back to you. I've had kind of a busy weekend.
Thanks for the invite though!"

At first, I took this email to be hopeful. After all, it included an apology and an exclamation point. What more do you need for a positive sign? In addition, most guys at this point would've told me that they weren't interested in me because they just want to be friends, they don't see me that way, or I'm fat and ugly.

BUt Archie came back instantaneously with he's not interested and then I had three other people analyze it for me and they all said the same thing. Its even more consistent than a toothpaste commercial where 4 out of 5 dentists agree. So that means its time to move on. I tell you if I go a 6th year without dating someone, I am not going to be a happy camper. Hunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngry Scott will become the permanent Scott.

Split Personalities

Sometimes I think I have split personalities take the last couple of nights for my examples:

Thursday Night- White girl night. Went to JR's with Chuck and his friends for happy hour. I drank vodka, which apparently was a mistake. I got pretty trashed and by 830, I was home with my head in the toilet.

Friday- Black Woman Don't think people didn't get a handful of my opinion when they tried to screw me over. My cell phone still ain't working properly, so i go back to Cingular to tell them what I think the problem is (mind you: my phone hasn't worked in a month, and they've already sent me a replacement phone.) So Ray, the guy at the CIngular store dismissed my thoughts on what the problem was and wasn't even willing to try it. So he tries to sell me a new phone and then puts me on a phone in the store with tech support. I think the store could tell I was a bit pissed. If the next phone they send me doesn't work, I will stop in to ask where the nearest Verizon store is. Then I stop by Bank of America to get a new ATM card thinking that the magnetic strip doesn't work properly, as the waiter and David Greggory nicely pointed out to me as he was thinking "Bitch came to restaurant week and can't pay his bill." So i get in there and the guy gets on the phone right away and keeps talking about my card being restricted and makes me feel like I'm some criminal and I should expect the police to bust through the door to arrest me. They aparently deactivated my card while I was in Florida on vacation thinking my card was stolen... did they tell me know? And what would've happened had they deactivated it while i was driving back and I couldn't get gas? I guess that's why I always carry cash on me when i drive places.

Friday Night- I don't even know what personality this is. I went to the Army Surplus store in Bethesda and bought clothing there. Camoflage pants and military t-shirts. Then went to the Green Lantern for Mid Atlantic Leather weekend. What an "interesting" experience and I think I can safely say that is not my scene. Because all leather and bear types are inherently old and out of shape. Not to say there weren't a couple of attractive guys there, but 98% of them really should've had more clothes on than they did.

Sticker Shock

So, over the weekend I said goodbye to my largest vice... fast food. In between bouts of drinking in Adams Morgan, ESPN Zone, and my apartment, I gorged myself on every fattening place I could go to say good-bye. And thus today starts my new diet. I ate my portion sized breakfast less than two hours ago and I'm starving!!!!!!! 1 1/4 cup of cereal with 1/2 cup of skim milk... who knew that was so small. This is going to be rough... very very rough.

Jr's

So I went to all you can drink happy hour with Archie tonight. Archie got there before me since I wanted to come home and shower. And by the time i got there he was already being picked up by some BU alum that sat next to him. The guy kept touching him and told me how he was jealous that I showed up and was Archie's friend. I endured hours of conversation about changes that this guy has seen happen in Boston, being that he was 10 years older than Archie. They seemed to hit it off, if you discount Archie telling me he had no interest in the other guy whatsoever. The guy kept touching archie's stomach telling him what great shape he was in. Right at the end I went to the bathroom, not as much because I had to as much as I wanted to put Archie in an awkward position to hear the guy try to exchange numbers. I get back and Archie tells me the guy professed his love for him... awww.. Archie found true love. No guys there for me, but when I got home Andriano (the current crush) emailed me telling me why he couldn't come... sigh... if only he knew.... but then again, he probably knows about this blog even if i didn't tell him.

End of the Trip

I write this post from home in DC. The trip finally ended and for that I think there must be a God. I finally had the dreaded dinner with the family. We went to Chile's (my thought was it would end quicker if we all had burgers than actual food). So we get there and my father offers to pay for me ( a first, as he's often made me pay my own way when out with the family, like Thanksgiving 1997 and the Washington DC vacation of 1995). But he did make the Russian boy pay his own way. Granted the Russian boy is like 20/21 right now and in his first job and not going to school, whereas I was a minor. However, it still seems pretty crappy to me to make the children pay their own way to spend time with their family. God knows, if I'm putting my own money into it, I can think of better company that I would like to spend it with.

But no huge revelations occured while i was at dinner, except my decision that two for one specials are God's way of helping people deal with their family.

Then yesterday I spent the entire day driving back. GOd it was a long drive that confirmed my belief that South Carolina is hell. It started raining, no not raining, pouring about 30 miles in and didn't stop until i was back. But it is good to be home. May it ever be humble, my annoying relatives are 900 miles away.

2006

So the vacation is ending. Finally. There is a God. I spent New Years Eve at the Parliament House. www.parliamenthouse.com A completely trashy hotel that doubles as a gay club. There was a good concert byUltra Nate (you may know her as the diva who sings that song "If you could read my mind," from the movie 54. And then a great drag show. ORlando really does have great drag. THe main dragqueen who runs the show did a number from the musical "The COlor People" and was completely fabulous in it. But Chuck would've been proud that I went dancing at a circuit-esque bar. And the Brew Crew should've been happy that I drank beer at a gay bar.

And the most important thing I learned was that the Parliament House is where all the queers go to die. When we started out the night no one under 50 was at the place... however, as teh night went on, it did get better, but its good to know what my future may be.

I did get to spend time with Billy Manes, a friend of mine who is my connection to the Orlando inner circle. He's like a local cult-celebrity here that writes a weekly column for the Orlando Weekly. www.orlandoweekly.com I am glad I could catch up with the drama of o-town while in town and I didn't have to hunt him down at his real job, Barnes and Nobles. He ran for mayor in 2005 in some wierd fiasco where the current mayor was temporarily removed from power and then replaced before an interim election. I asked if he wrote a book about his failed political campaign... His response (and why I'm proud to know him): I tried shopping the idea around for publishers but no one's picked it up yet. HAHAHHAHAHAHAH Keep tryin' Billy