yet again...

I've failed in my mission to have three dates with the same guy. I am now to two dates with the same guy though and that is a start. On Friday I went out with the guy I met at JR's on our second date. We had dinner (a very datelike activity), he offered to pay, but I insisted (in retrospect I should've let him) and then we went to Floriana (a very low scale, low key bar underneath a restaurant). Then we hit JRs. THe night went really well, or so i thought. It still had a very date like feel. It still had flirtation. Then he mentioned he got a text from some "friends" (quotations are my own addition) at Cobalt and a minute later he said he was ready to head home. I told him I'd walk him and he busted into the "let's be friends" speech. SO I don't know if he really was feeling that way or he had some ass at Cobalt to get to. Either way I got the talk. Then the next morning, as I'm hungover and angry (an emotion I usually don't have when it comes to guys rejecting me) he calls but i miss his call. I call him back like two minutes later (before his phone message) and he gives me the "I wanted to make sure you're ok after the awkward moment from last night" speech. Fine fine fine. At this point I'm thinking I'll act like i will with all the others who just want to be friends (which is go out a couple times and gradually put more and more time in between each contact until there is none). And how unfair is it to put someone through this conversation. They are the victim, they're the ones getting hurt/rejected. And you put them in the situation of saying "yeah, i'm fine. Yeah friends would be great." except all they think is "god shut up and go away." and "I have to say yes to friendship or i look bitter and petty." Then after i talk to him i get his voice mail which says things like "I'm a great guy...(apparently not great enough), we have a lot in common (apparently not enough)" blah blah blah. So in a total of 10 hours i get the lets be friends talk three times. I'm not happy about it at all.

Then of course i was bitchy all weekend and slept a bit... feeling better now, but not sure how much i want the friendship... i guess we'll just see what happens with it. However, I decided to use this as an opportunity for growth and feedback. So i sent an exit interview to him asking him what my strengths were, what my weaknesses were, what could've been improved. I know its awkward and technical, but I can't keep trying this dating thing and not know why it fails to ever work out. So I'm sure I'll post the results when I get them.