Another Latin Man

So I seemed to have rebounded nicely from the Jose episode and with another latin man. A long time ago, I started talking to this guy Juan on gay.com. I later found out he was friends with another friend of mine and so we periodically chatted online. Every so often I'd IM him or he'd IM me, but we never met. At the grocery store on Saturday, I saw him. He was shopping and listening to his iPod, so I didn't disturb him, but it caused me to IM him when I saw him online later that night. So we finally picked a date to actually meet and hang out. That night was yesterday. We decided to order pizza and watch a movie at my place (yeah, I know what I always say about staying in on a first date equating you plan to have sex, but whatever.. he was hot and nice so who cares if i end up having sex).

So he comes over and we watch two movies and order pizza. The pizza was Papa JOhns and was pepperoni and green peppers. The movies were Employee of the Month and The Devil Wears Prada. We watched the movies and made out a little bit.... ok a lot. It was very nice. I am sure we will go out, or in again. Its been two days so I think I will email him later today to tell him to give me a call when he gets back from vacation, which is another trait.. i seem to always go on first dates right before people go on vacations.

But I am confident that there will be a second date.

What a great trip!

So I have been traveling a lot this summer. The month of July brings me to New York City and Rehoboth Beach. I went up with a friend to NYC. Our trip starts with him going out to meet one of his college friends. So I tag along and its to a little straight bar with cheap martinis and a pool table. So I alternated in between watching pool players and chatting with the people I was with. At some point they go outside and the gay poolplayer boy was like "your making me nervous." in a flirtatious way. So we started talking. At some point, my friend and I went to dinner and on our way out, i gave the guy my card that said "I'm visiting for two days and would love to see you before i leave." So 5 minutes later he calls me and we set something up for the next day. However, after dinner, my friend wanted to crash so i went back to the bar and hung out with the guy for a couple hours. We seemed to get along quite well. I eventually left to meet up with my friend, but we decided to hang out the next night.

So the next night we go out on a date, get some drinks, he shows me his part of the city. Then we go back to his place, order some diner food and well you know... But let me say this: it was the best sex I've ever had. I usually don't have great experiences when it comes to sex, but this was by far a great and emotionally positive sexual experience.

And it took most of the night so i slept most of the way home on the train. Turned around and headed to the beach. I made a new friend in the group that was going so it was a good time. Read some Harry Potter. Drank a bit. Invented a new drink (which I am very excited about--- Pink Lemonade and Vodka and I call it a Dolly Madison.) But there was also drama at the beach.

Of course there is always a little awkwardness when you travel with a couple, but I felt that it got ridiculously out of control. When people feel the need to make out so much that you can't have a complete conversation with them, then it becomes prohibitive to good group dynamics and that was the start of it. An example, if you will- I was talking to one of them about the new Harry Potter and in the middle of the conversation, of me talking, they start making out, so i said "Oh, I thought I was talking, but I guess I wasn't." And I turned around and stopped communicating with them for a while. So I and another guy started to separate away from the group so we didn't have to deal with it, which only ticked off other people. But the couple, which at this point wasn't dating for a full month yet got engaged.....yes, you read that correctly, engaged.... with rings and everything, although as i understand it the rings didn't fit. How do you not tell people you are going on an engagement trip with that you plan to pop the question and How do you pop the question after less than a month together. It makes me question the seriousness of relationships and wanting to be in one. TO me, this behavior trivializes relationships altogether. But then I realize "wait, when people do this, i usually make fun of them... ALOT." But its my friend, so I'd feel guilty doing it... clearly, i'm conflicted by this.

But it didn't ruin the trip and I still very much enjoyed the beach and the sun and the splotchy burn I somehow got...

Bachelor Auction

As promised, the bachelor auction date post. So on Sunday evening, I met my date for dinner at Tonic, which is a restaurant that specializes in comfort food. I, being the perpetually on time person that I am, arrived about 15 minutes early. When he got there , we did the gay exchanging of pleasantries (hug/kiss on the cheek). WE went in and he knew people in the restaurant next door so he said hi. I thought he was just popular, but apparently his friends decided to check up on him during the date... which wasn't mentioned til late into the date.. but has some awkwardness attached to it.

The conversation was good. Its like if we were able to go down different paths of our lives and then meet up and discuss life with our future possible selves... that was our date. We had a lot in common, education- the same reasons for doing so much education, the worries we have about putting ourselves out there in a date/romantic setting, the hangups we have with men, etc etc. IF it were a actual date, there may have been some overshares of personal information, but since it wasn't, its ok.

At some point, he got all inquisitive about why I (someone) would purchase a bachelor at a bachelor auction and actually go out with them. And I said it was just for the experience and the story (which is 100% the truth), but my inner monologue had a much deeper conversation of two points. 1. If I wanted to eat at that particular restaurant, it would've been cheaper just to go to that restaurant with friends and pay my own way. and 2. while yes this money technically was for charity, its not like it was a big charitable cause like cancer research, or AIDS related concerns, or poverty. Its to send gays to France.... If i cared about that charity, I'd buy a ticket to Paris for myself.

And of course, at some point he mentioned he had a blog. And he said he didn't want to tell me what it was since I had been mentioned in it through the whole date purchase thing. I respect that entirely, but let's be honest... anyone who knows me knows I'm instantly going to internet stalk. And it wasn't hard to find at all. The early posts about the date weren't so nice and had I read them before the date, I probably would've canceled and not gone out with him at all. But his summary paints me in a good light, so I appreciate that. Here's the link to the good review and to my readers, please note... he doesn't know that I know his blog yet, so don't incriminate me :)

But he seemed nice enough. I think if we see each other out, we'll definitely stop to chat, but there's no real date coming up with him and I don't know if we'll ever actually call each other to hang out. I guess we'll see on that one.

yet again...

I've failed in my mission to have three dates with the same guy. I am now to two dates with the same guy though and that is a start. On Friday I went out with the guy I met at JR's on our second date. We had dinner (a very datelike activity), he offered to pay, but I insisted (in retrospect I should've let him) and then we went to Floriana (a very low scale, low key bar underneath a restaurant). Then we hit JRs. THe night went really well, or so i thought. It still had a very date like feel. It still had flirtation. Then he mentioned he got a text from some "friends" (quotations are my own addition) at Cobalt and a minute later he said he was ready to head home. I told him I'd walk him and he busted into the "let's be friends" speech. SO I don't know if he really was feeling that way or he had some ass at Cobalt to get to. Either way I got the talk. Then the next morning, as I'm hungover and angry (an emotion I usually don't have when it comes to guys rejecting me) he calls but i miss his call. I call him back like two minutes later (before his phone message) and he gives me the "I wanted to make sure you're ok after the awkward moment from last night" speech. Fine fine fine. At this point I'm thinking I'll act like i will with all the others who just want to be friends (which is go out a couple times and gradually put more and more time in between each contact until there is none). And how unfair is it to put someone through this conversation. They are the victim, they're the ones getting hurt/rejected. And you put them in the situation of saying "yeah, i'm fine. Yeah friends would be great." except all they think is "god shut up and go away." and "I have to say yes to friendship or i look bitter and petty." Then after i talk to him i get his voice mail which says things like "I'm a great guy...(apparently not great enough), we have a lot in common (apparently not enough)" blah blah blah. So in a total of 10 hours i get the lets be friends talk three times. I'm not happy about it at all.

Then of course i was bitchy all weekend and slept a bit... feeling better now, but not sure how much i want the friendship... i guess we'll just see what happens with it. However, I decided to use this as an opportunity for growth and feedback. So i sent an exit interview to him asking him what my strengths were, what my weaknesses were, what could've been improved. I know its awkward and technical, but I can't keep trying this dating thing and not know why it fails to ever work out. So I'm sure I'll post the results when I get them.

I'm back (part two)

COntinuing from yesterday:

1. So Ruthie has been seeing this guy for about a month now. I'm happy for him, although am worried how it might affect our friendship, as I clearly don't want to be the third wheel. But his boy seems very nice and very friendly and is friends with the waiter (soon to be mentioned). But he's just like me. We may not look exactly alike b/c he's shorter and has facial hair, but our mannerisms and personality are exactly alike. I had to say afterwards (not to Ruthie mind you) that it was like he was dating me vicariously through someone else. Interesting and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

2. Last monday, my long term waiter crush was out at JR's. I've never seen him outside of his element. But I stopped and chatted with him a bit while we were out. ANd its done wonders for our friendship. We've exchanged phone numbers and have texted a couple of times and when I was at his restaurant/bar on Saturday he really sat down and chatted with me for like two hours. At JR's, I offered to buy him a beer. He told me that I don't have to, but i insisted saying that with the number of beers he's served me, the least I could do is buy him one. He said "yeah, but i've never bought you one." To which I respond "yeah, I know... and don't think I haven't noticed. ALl the bartenders here give me free drinks ;)... nothing like guilting people for free drinks.

3. The date: So over President's day weekend, I went to JR's(way too much) and met a guy. I went with Christian and at some point Christian walked away to say hi to someone else and the guy started talking to me. So we chatted a bit... we have some similar interests... and he doesn't seem like the normal type of guy I get so we exchanged numbers. We were in contact for a couple days through texting and emails. We went out for an actual date on Saturday. It went well. We hit up some bars where no one would know us so we could talk and drink and get to know each other. It was a good night. We ended up at JR's at the end of the night where I introduced him to a very drunk friend. And my date (Dan) told him that he was going on vacation to Ft. Lauderdale this week. So the friend decides it would be appropriate to recommend the bathhouse in Ft. Laud to visit... for the guy I'm on my first date with. I was mortified and my mouth dropped open larger than my friends probably did at that bathhouse. Dan was gracious about it though, so he got bonus points for that. At the end of the night I walked him home and we kissed good night and he said he had a great time and would love to hang out again.

Gotta get to a meeting: Tomorrow's catch up- the gym story and what happened last night at JR's ( I really do go there too much)