birthday continued...

Well things were good for the rest of my birthday. A lot of people showed up. It was a welcome feeling, right after not taking a new job, that so many people cared to show up and wish me well. It was definately welcome and I appreciate the number of people who came to show me their love. So for all of them, thank you so much.

And the good news, I was able to put off my bad mood for the entirety of my party. I've been so moody over the past two weeks. I have no real idea and its much longer than my time of the month usually lasts, so this seems to be more long term. I guess I need some sort of a shake up. TO some extent, I just want to shut myself off from everyone for a couple of weeks until I get this out of my system. I dont like being around people at all.

Part of it is that I'm tried of trying to do the gay thing. It seems that being gay is the most competitive thing humanly possible and I'm tired of trying to be that competitive. Here are two examples: One guy that I met relatively recently. Cute enough guy, but within one two hour conversation I knew we'd be a horrible match. I am outgoing and more extroverted, he's incredibly introverted. I talk all the time about myself. He never does unless you ask specific questions. I like going out. But in the course of conversation, I got the serious impression that he didn't have many friends in the DC metropolitan area. So I invited him out twice with me AND A GROUP OF PEOPLE. Never ever was it solo nor was it intended to actually be dates. So how come he mentioned to someone that he just doesn't want to date right now (meaning about me). Now other than the whole "He's just not that into you" philosophy that says that what he means is he's not wanting to date me right now, not just date... but why is it that men feel the need to reject me in advance from actually pursuing or asking out? Am I doing something horribly wrong? Are gay guys just never nice without sex being involved? But enough about that fucker.

The next story shows how I just can't compete with them at all. At some point towards the end of my party on Friday... a guy started talking to my group that I didn't know so we started talking to him and he explained to us his connection to our group as one of the members of the group "gave him his first road head." Excellent.... but (and this happens with the boy sitting on my lap--- and without me having even 5 minutes to try and flirt) another unmentioned friend has his hand on the guy's crotch. Jesus, I didn't even have a moment to process the situation, much less attempt to pursue before I was blocked on the front. I just can't compete that seriously in the gay dating/ pickup pool. So maybe I should start dating women. It seems like it would be a lot easier.

In a boy non-related movement, it took my father three days after my birthday to call and wish me a happy birthday (which means that my grandmother didn't remind him until that point) but then tells me I need to stop by next time i'm in town even if its for a conference. Ummm I don't think you can give me those ultimatums when you forgot my birthday.

birthday boys

I had thought about doing a blog about personal drama and abandonment issues surrounding my birthday. But last nights experiences gave me a totally new topic to write about...boys! There were three incidences yesterday that got me to thinking.

1. I was up in Woodley Park for an association meeting yesterday. After the meeting I was taking the metro back to work and when the elevator arrived everyone walked out, but the last guy smiled, did the little eye check out thing and made sure the door didn't close on me. This got a missed connection from me. (if for some reason you are unfamiliar with missed connections like you live under a rock or in the middle of nowhere, please check them out. Every area has them on www.craigslist.org).

2. I went to a grad school happy hour at McFaddens and a hot guy across the room kept checking me out... sadly he never made a move, then again I didnt either.

3. The real story though: I went to Fado's for T-fab's going away party (why someone would move to upstate New York of their own volition is beyond me). But while we're at Fado's this chunky but funky Jock boy stumbles through our group to ask where the bathrooms are, so i point him in the right direction. Then on his way back he stumbles through our group again and appologizes. He was clearly wasted beyond all recognition and then he comes in and kisses me on the cheek...ummm ok. then he offers me a shot, which he never actually delivers on. So then I watch him later in the night and he starts kissing all these guys in his group (all chunky but funky fratish Jocks). And my friends started to notice it too. And I was like, "When did Fado's become a gay bar?" At some point I pass him again and I'm like dude where's my shot. So he apologizes for that and says I should bitch him out. I'm like I should, but its not really worth my time, so he kisses me practically on the lips... Geez, Fado's has more gay action than the Crew Club apparently. BUt it did give our group entertainment all night long.

In other news: a service industry crush (for those that don't know, I often crush--- or at least used to in Orlando--- on service industry people (i.e. waiters, bartenders, flight attendants).. so this crush I have gave me his email the other day and I invited him to my birthday party and he actually emailed... so I'm crushing today.. (yes, i know nothing will happen of it, but there's nothing wrong with a little crush here and there, or on a weekly basis).

Birthday Plans

For any fans reading the blog that may be interested: I am having my birthday party tomorrow night at Halo, so feel free to stop by and hang out.

And I am telling you, I'm not going.

Well, after great consideration and an official phone call made today... I turned down the Philly job to remain in DC. At the crux of my decision was if I would complete my program from another place. Knowing myself, I figured I'd start making excuses soon enough without my social network in place to keep me working towards it. I will still apply in the area if things come up, but for now I'm staying at GW.

It was a hard decision, but the right one.

Yesterday...

So much to write about from yesterday.

First: Art Buchwald passed away. I actually met him once. He came in to Barnes and Noble in Georgetown when I worked there and he wanted to sign his books. I thought he was just a crazy man who thought he wrote a book, so I called the manager to deal with it (which we really did with all authors- not just the ones I didn't beleive). So Tibbett got the books for him to sign and afterwards she asked if I knew who he was and I didnt. The day before he published an article about how sucky it was to be an author because booksellers had no idea who you are when you went to sign books... I felt bad... as I was that bookseller.

Second: Crazy Guy on the Train. After work, I went to Capitol Hill for a fancy shindig with Americans for Democratic Action. On the way there, I rode the train with Molly and this crazy guy sat next to us and started chatting away. He was very fidgety like he was on crack withdrawal, but he started talking to us. We were nice and friendly as he started to tell us things like his gay trips to Florida where he was almost bitten by an alligator and asking us if we liked the city and such. Then Molly gets off the train and he's like "what's your name?" "Are you gay?" "How old are you?" "OMG, I'm like twice your age" and me thinking "ummm you are acting like you are on crack, I don't plan to go out on a date with you anyways." But luckily my stop was next Woo Hoo.

Third: Meeting the powerful: So i got to stop and chat with some pretty exciting people. Representative Conyers, Altmire,Hodes, McDermott, Waters, Tiahrt, and Senator Akaka.

I also met a cute boy there, that I was able to hunt down online later. I might email him and ask him out... we'll see... we all know my luck on that as well, so don't expect a followup here :)

this was supposed to be easy

Well its not entirely common knowledge, but I applied for a job recently at an institution in Philadelphia. I interviewed for it this past week and they called the next day to offer me the job. So what I thought was supposed to be an easy decision, has turned into one of the most frustrating decisions of my life. Here are my thought processes.

-School: I know that the best interest long term thing is for me to finish my doctorate. That will help me move up more than any position I hold. Will I be able to complete my program if I am away from campus and my support networks?

-New location: While I don't have a problem with moving and starting over (I did move from ORlando to DC with only one person I knew). I am not sure I want to start over with no acquaintances right now.

-Money: While they went out of their range to offer my a salary, it was not enough to break even with what I'd be paying for my school out of pocket.

- Reputation: While everyone will have a good opinion of me when I leave, its just now getting to the point where people know who I am. That's not an easy thing to throw away. I have a growing reputation around my institution as well as through my association.

- Position: While yes, this would be a good move professionally, it won't be the last position I'm offered.

- Drama: If i am having this much trouble deciding, isn't it telling me something about not being ready to leave?

Those are most of the thoughts I'm having. Yes, i know they are phrased as an I dont want to go. Yesterday i was at a 90% chance I'd leave and today i'm at a 40% chance I wont. I have til Monday to decide. What are your thoughts? They'd be greatly appreciated.

Ummmm interesting...

Yes, i know... two posts in a day, what ever is becoming of me.

Well the other day I was having lunch with Ruthie and in the process of me saying I had a crazy day and then mentioned that M&M and Big Head had a date. M&M isn't calling it a date, but that they are hanging out, but after a number of us saw them at a particular birthday party all chummy it is unavoidable calling it a date. I think that M&M doesn't want to tell me this because of the wierd history that Big Head and I have. So i mention that to Ruthie, who proceedes to ask if i had something with Big Head. My response: "Let's face it, I pretty much ask everyone out at least once." and then he gets all defensive (in a playful (i think) manner) and was like "you never asked me out." To which I defended myself: "You were seeing someone when I met you out." He retorted that Charlie (November's crush) still got asked out even with that, but I said i didn't know he was seeing someone when I did. Then Ruthie was all like, it doesn't mean that I don't like being pursued, even if i am taken (cocktease? yes). So I think I should ask Ruthie out. At least that way, I can honestly say I asked out every gay person I ever met. hahah (that sounds so pathetic putting it in writing- and no I don't mean it literally, I can think of two gay people I know and am friends with that I did not ask out).

How come....

the gayer the pope dresses, the scarier he looks?

Things you don't want to hear at the gym

I was at the gym for a quick 30 minutes on a bike. After my shower and dressing, the old creepy guy who has these wierd close relationships with young boyish looking guys was talking to one of them and he starts a conversation saying: "are you feeling better?" They continue talking for a little bit. Then as I walk by him, old guy says "so do you still have diarrhea?"

I about shit my pants laughing about that.

Just ridiculous

When did car rental prices go up so much? When I was in Florida for the holidays, a 10 day trip, car rentals were something like $900. When you factor in taxes it would've been like $100 a day. Do people really pay that much? Its ridiculous. But I thought well, Florida is a high tourist destination, I was needing to get it from the airport, and it was the Winter Holidays. BUt then yesterday, I was looking at ways to get to Philly for an interview coming up. I thought renting a car would be cheaper than doing the train. OMG it sooo isn't. They wanted me to pay like $120 for a day and a half. That's just a little whack.

So I think it might be a smart investment to get a car. I wont do it for about a year, which will give me time to pay off the rest of my bills. But once they are paid off and I save up some money for a downpayment, it looks like I will be driving again.

Silent treatments work both ways

So my boss, who hasnt talked to us since Dec 23rd comes into my cubicle yesterday and says "Did I hear you talking about sexcapades in Florida yesterday?" My response: ummmm no.

Did they happen? Mayhaps
Did I talk about them at work?: I don't think so.
Would I tell her either way: No

Works both ways now doesn't it.

some randoms

1. I saw Steven out at JR's again. He hadn't called so I left him alone rather than going over and talking to him. But then I saw him give his phone number to this old, fat, balding guy... ewwww. If that's his type, I should be thankful he didn't call.

2. My supervisor at work is giving me a silent treatment. This is the third that I've received in my 4 and 1/2 years of employment. Its a shame she has the maturity of a three year old. Such is life I guess. It will just propel me to do a job search more intensively I guess. According to an article that the Associated Press published about a study in Leadership Quarterly, "31% of employees said their supervisor gave them the "silent treatment" in the past year, 27% said the supervisor made negative comments about them to other employees or managers, and 24% said their supervisor invaded their privacy."

3. Professional question for the readers: When one is interviewing long distance, does anyone have any recommendations for bringing up reimbursements for travelling to interviews? Should you leave it to the employer to bring up and just assume you are paying for it otherwise? Should you bring it up right away when the discussion of an in person interview occurs? Is it to late to bring up when you actually schedule that interview? Have any of you had experiences with this?

outgoing

Apprently the 2007 Scott is to be more outgoing. In addition to me being hot this year (as noted in the last blog entry), I apparently am being the social butterfly this year. Last night at JR's I made two new friends. One was a couple who were at the bar, ordering drinks from Serhiy (pronounced Sergey). And this couple at the side start talking to me about how i was wearing my hat (tilted to the side). We then had a whole discussion about me being gangsta... yeah you heard that right me = gangsta... (which means lately I'm a jock and a gangsta... life is good).

Then later, some random guy wished one of the guys I was hanging out with a congratulations for graduating. Then made the joke of "High School or college?" So later when i was coming back with drinks, I stopped and told him its high school. Then we started chatting and he told me I looked 21... i love liars (so i'm a 21 y/o jock thug?) So we chatted. His name is Cory.. seemed nice. I wouldnt mind seeing him out again sometime.

New Years started off right

So I get back to DC on the 2nd. And M&M, Ruthie, and I decide to go for catch up drinks at JR's. And by catch up drinks I mean we caught up on seeing Dreamgirls. So at some point I go up to the bar for the round of drinks I was purchasing and much like the hyena goes after the antelope that has separated from the herd, the old guys saw me separated from the herd and pounced. So I had to deal with two old guys who one said the other thought i was "the hottest thing" and he kept trying to kiss me on the cheek. The other guy seemed nice enough, but not my type. At some point Ruthie brought back popcorn and the old guy took a handful and offered it to me. My thought was "ewwww... I don't know where your hands have been." I said "no thanks I don't eat popcorn." such a liar such a liar. After a relatively long conversation, I was freed to return to my group.

But even before the old guys pounced I was making smiles with flannelboy. There would be many turns and looks and smiles then turn aways. At some point he went upstairs to play pool and everytime he went up he'd look at me and smile. So at one point as he kept doing his walkbyes I smiled and he said "hey, how are you?" I replied good and you. THen Ruthie got him as he walked up the stairs and said what's your name and introduced me. Funny how Ruthie will introduce me to complete strangers but not to his other friends in bars. Steven (flannel boy) and I then discussed his pool game and how good he was. On his next trip down, I gave him my number. Right before he left, he said he'd use it and I said I'd look forward to it, so we shall see.

But this was a good way to start 2007.